How to Change Irrational Convictions

Cognitive therapy revolves around the idea that people are emotionally driven by irrational convictions about what should and should not be. Convictions are irrational when there is no objective evidence supporting them. They tend to be inflexible, extreme and negative, and they trigger disproportionate emotional responses in the people who hold them. Cognitive therapy, specifically rational emotive behavior therapy, nullifies these irrational convictions and replaces them with more moderate, rational beliefs about what is expected of us and what we can expect from other people.

Instructions

• 1

  Figure out the specific event that triggered your emotions and write it down. For example, "My coworker criticized my work performance in front of my boss."

• 2

  Write down exactly how this event made you feel and what you did in response to it. For example, you felt angry and ashamed, and in response you were moody and unfriendly for the rest of the day.

• 3

  Examine your subconscious thinking to figure out what irrational convictions led you to this reaction. Look for extreme or inflexible ideas and for value judgements, for example, "My boss must not hear negative reports about me," "This behavior from my coworker was intolerable" or "I failed in front of my colleagues." Write them down.

• 4

  Identify the response you would rather have had to the trigger event and write it down. Do not aim to respond positively if that is unrealistic; rather, aim for a less extreme negative reaction. For example, instead of writing "to feel accomplished," write "to feel disappointed."

• 5

  Attack each of your convictions to prove that they are irrational. Ask yourself "Is it true that my coworker's criticism makes me a failure?," "Is there evidence that my boss now hates me?," and "Does it help me be a happy and productive person to believe that my coworker has mistreated me?" Use logic and pragmatism to disprove your irrational convictions.

• 6

  Write down rational, moderate beliefs that replace your irrational convictions. Replace "musts" and "shoulds" with hopes and preferences. For example, replace "My boss must not hear negative reports about me" with "I would prefer that my boss only hear good things about me, but if he does hear something bad, it will not instantly redefine how he sees me."

• 7

  Read these new, rational beliefs aloud before you go to sleep that night and again when you first wake up the next morning. If you still have negative feelings about the event, you have missed an irrational conviction. Repeat the process to find and change the underlying belief you missed the first time.