The Stages of Recovery at the End of Relationships

A relationship breakup is a deep loss that must be grieved, and the process takes time as you move through various stages. The recovery phases follow a general pattern, although people experience them in different ways and at varying intensity levels. Feelings such as sadness, anger and confusion are all part of the process, according to Mental Health America, and they all lessen over time.

Denial

• Denial is often the first stage of recovery because people tend to initially deny a painful loss like the end of a relationship. You may wait for a phone call, text or email from the other person and cling to hope of rekindling the relationship. People sometimes isolate themselves from others during this phase, according to Memorial Hospital in Pennsylvania.

Anger

• Anger is a natural part of recovery because it gives you a place to channel your intense feelings. You might be angry at the other person for breaking up with you or at yourself because you played a role in the relationship problems. If you must have contact with the other person during this phase, Mental Health America warns not to get into fights. For example, you might be forced into contact because you have a child with the other person and have visitation exchanges. Do not launch verbal attacks, and refuse to get drawn into conflict.

Bargaining

• A breakup is scary because you are suddenly alone. If your relationship was long-term and you were married or living with someone, your life may change drastically, according to the Helpguide website. Bargaining is a recovery phase in which you mentally make a deal, like, "If my partner comes back, I'll never nag again," even if it is totally unrealistic. Some people even bargain with God through prayer during this stage.

Depression

• Depression comes toward the end of the recovery process, when you finally realize that denying the loss, being mad or making mental deals does not bring your partner back. The depression stage is often characterized by numbness, according to Memorial Hospital, although sadness and anger are often just below the emotional surface. Talk to other people during this phase to give yourself an outlet and process those underlying feelings, Helpguide advises.

Acceptance

• Acceptance is the final stage of recovery when you lose a relationship because it's the point at which you admit the loss, process the feelings and move on. Helpguide says spending time with others, cultivating new friendships and pursuing new interests are helpful activities for completing recovery in this stage.