How to Help Cope With Grief

When a life-changing tragedy occurs, the effect on the status quo is often bewilderment, a sense of vulnerability and an immobilizing period of despair that makes current and future decision-making a challenge. There is no one-size-fits-all in adjusting to losses associated with the death of a loved one, the ending of a relationship through divorce/separation or the destruction of a cherished home. The ability to cope with grief, however, is influenced by the freedom to acknowledge painful emotions and the willingness to reach out to others for support.

Instructions

• 1

  Make your health, safety and security your top priority during the bereavement process. When you're grieving, it's not uncommon to skip meals, lose sleep, drink alcohol, take drugs, eschew hygiene and/or engage in risky behaviors. Focus on staying well, keeping strong and reminding yourself that no one expects you to snap out of your grief overnight.

• 2

  Create a support network by reaching out to friends and neighbors, your family, clergy and congregation members, hospice staff and local bereavement groups. Accept their offers to run errands, bring meals or just sit and listen to you. Putting up a facade of strength and independence when you're feeling exactly the opposite could cause you to push away the very people who are trying to ease your journey. Suppressing your emotions by insisting you have everything under control is unhealthy and can contribute to a greater sense of loneliness and isolation.

• 3

  Seek professional therapy if your grief is affecting your health, your work habits or your relationships with others. A trained psychotherapist can work with you in identifying feelings such as guilt, abandonment, betrayal and unworthiness that may run deeper than the events surrounding the actual loss that is currently causing you pain. Therapy will empower you to experience and examine your emotions, identify situations that trigger your grief and adopt healthy behaviors.

• 4

  Reinvent yourself and your environment. Entering a new chapter of your life is an opportunity to incorporate positive, incremental changes. These could include a new hairstyle, a hobby you've always wanted to pursue, rearranging your furniture, reconnecting with old friends or taking up a new sport. While some take a sense of comfort from leaving everything exactly as it was before a loved one's departure, others may perceive these elements as anchors that could prevent them from successfully letting go and moving on. How much -- or how little -- you change depends on your individual outlook and shouldn't be dictated by anyone other than you.