How to Live With Someone Who Is Severely Depressed?

Major depression affects the sufferer as well as those around her, as the mental illness causes emotional problems that can make a living situation a nightmare. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, 10 percent of Americans over the age of 18 suffer from depression each year, and more than 60 percent of people who die by suicide suffered from major depression. Alcohol and substance abuse are common coping mechanisms among depression sufferers that put a strain on relationships and require professional treatment and/or anti-depressant medication. Although staying supportive is important to maintain a healthy relationship, it's also necessary to take care of yourself.

Instructions

• 1

  Practice compassion. Listen to the depressed person without judgment when he needs to talk. A judgmental attitude toward a depressed person can worsen his feelings about the disease and can damage the trust in the relationship. Ask questions in a kind way, which can help him talk about his feelings and slightly improve his mood.

• 2

  Avoid getting angry when she's feeling bad about herself. Depression isn't a problem that is curable with tough love; it requires understanding what happens when someone has the disorder. Talk to the sufferer in a calm, non-threatening tone to prevent an increase in the sufferer's stress. Ask the sufferer how they are feeling to provide support and encouragement. Read "Depression For Dummies" or visit the National Institute of Mental Health's depression web page to read up on the symptoms, causes and treatments of the illness.

• 3

  Avoid the rescuer complex. The want or need to save someone from feeling sad or take away his suffering is common among friends and loved ones, but it can backfire on you by making the depressed person dependent on you. Rescuing the person can make the sufferer feel like a child and increases the pressure to provide relief, according to Bob Murray, PhD, a bestselling author, relationship expert and psychologist.

• 4

  Encourage the person to seek professional help. Cognitive behavioral therapy is commonly used to change the way the sufferer thinks and feels by replacing negative beliefs about his situation and life with positive ones, improving his quality of life.

• 5

  Explain your needs, which may be ignored when the depressed person is solely focused on his problems. Repressing your needs can lead to resentment and erode the living situation. Tell your loved one what your needs are while living with him, and avoid lying to protect the person.