Separation & Grief

When a traumatic event occurs in life -- such as a separation, divorce or death -- almost every person goes through the grieving process as a result of this separation. The process of grieving and healing from grief isn't always a quick one, but it can often be made easier just through understanding. If a person is aware of the things she may feel while grieving, it can often make the process more bearable.

Stages of Grief

• One of the most important aspects of the grieving process is understanding how it works. Psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross developed the approach of the five stages of grief. Several events can cause someone to experience these stages. Often, a person goes through these stages when they experience a life-changing separation event, such as a divorce or death. Initially, a person often goes through the first stage of denial, where he may feel numb or act as if it isn't happening. The second stage is anger, which comes when a person realizes the gravity of the situation and begins to process it. The third stage, which can be dangerous, is bargaining, where a person tries to get out of the situation by offering up unrealistic propositions. The fourth stage is depression, and the final stage is acceptance of the situation. While the separation may always hurt, the person has begun to accept the new life situation.

Coping with Separation

• While a person moves through the stages of grief related to a separation event, she also must experience different ways of coping with the situation. It is important that she recognizes that having varying feelings -- which often can become intense -- is normal and an accepted part of coping with separation. Feelings can range from sadness to anger to exhaustion. In addition, a person dealing with separation should try and take a break, perhaps taking some time off from work. It is important for people coping with separation to be open with others and express what they are feeling. This small step can greatly lighten the burden.

Children and Grief

• It is important to recognize that adults and children can sometimes process separation and grief differently. While children go through the same stages of grief -- denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance -- they are not aware of the grieving process and may have a harder time coming to terms with what they are feeling. It is important for the adults in the situation to be able to comfort the children. Parents or guardians should ensure the child feels comfortable discussing his feelings and explain to the child that this is a normal part of the healing process and that one day it won't feel so bad anymore.

Professional Help

• Oftentimes, a person dealing with separation and grief resulting from a separation realizes she cannot deal with it on his own. When a person starts to feel a sense of hopelessness, it may be the right time to seek professional help. Many therapists and grief counselors are available. Signs that a person should contact a professional include if a person feels life isn't worth living, blames himself for the loss, feels numb or disconnected or feels an inability to perform daily activities.