Seven Signs of Grief

Grieving is a healthy way of coping with life's losses. Recognizing the stages of grief and working through them is vital for sustaining good physical and mental health. Not everyone experiences the stages of grief in the same way or to the same extent. Some people may go through them more than once and not in any set order. Among the multiple signs of grief, shock, denial, anger, guilt, depression, realization and acceptance are the seven top stages.

Shock

• The first reaction to a loss is usually shock, particularly in the case of sudden death. Some people immediately sink into deep heartache revealed through uncontrollable weeping. Others may distance themselves by feeling numb and showing no emotion at all. They let the loss into their consciousness gradually, instead of all at once.

Denial

• Denial is often present in the early stages of loss. Sudden death is, by far, the hardest loss to accept. It's easier to believe it's all a mistake than to accept a painful reality. Denial helps relieve anxiety and pain until you find a way to cope.

Anger

• Many people suffering a loss will get angry and blame God for letting something happen to someone they love. They may feel that life is unfair, that the deceased was too young or too good to die. They resent others and may even think someone else should have died instead. They may feel angry with themselves and others for not having done more to prevent the loss.

Guilt

• Guilt feelings have little regard for rationality. Many people feel guilty because they are still alive and the other person is dead. They believe there was something they could have done to prevent it the death. Feeling guilty is a natural part of grieving, but it's important to accept that no one can control death.

Depression

• Depression is a normal reaction to loss. Many grieving people experience changes in eating or sleeping habits, mood, irritability and energy, and may experience feelings of hopelessness. Sometimes depression is the longest stage of grieving. As grief lessens, the depression usually fades.

Realization

• Realization that life has changed may come after depression. You begin to face what has happened and decide to go on with your life by taking it one day at a time. You recognize the loss and the feelings you have about it, but you don't dwell on them.

Acceptance

• Acceptance comes after all stages of grief are fully completed. Most people will be able to face and accept their loss. When the pain fades, their thinking grows sharper, and they may be stronger than they were before the loss occurred. They will think of the loss with sadness, but the sadness won't be overwhelming.