Stages of Grief & Denial

The stages of grief were first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her book, "On Death and Dying." Typically known as the Kübler-Ross model, the five stages in which people typically suffer when dealing with fatal disease or sudden tragedy. The stages of grief are subjective, as each person handles grief differently.

Denial

• Denial is used as a temporary defense mechanism. The person's mind may be unable to cope with the full gravity of the situation and will deny the idea that this is actually happening to him. When working with someone in the first stage of grief, it's important to let that person's mind do what it needs to protect himself. Do not try to force the reality on him. He will understand soon enough.

Anger

• A person may succumb to anger when the shock and denial has worn off. She cannot understand why this is happening to her. The stage of anger is characterized by an intense swing of all the emotions bottle up since finding out about the tragedy. Those close to the person but not affected may be in the firing line for their anger. The best option for dealing with someone in the anger state is to give her space. Let her feel everything they are feeling without judgment and the rage will soon subside.

Bargaining

• Once the intense anger has subsided, the person may feel the fear and reality of his situation beginning to weigh on him. The logical thing to do is find a way to buy more time. It is the last stage of hope and a small belief that the situation may be reversible. Do not try to give a person in the bargaining stage false hope. If in a scenario when someone has lost their job, he may feel he can bargain his way to getting it back. Rather than feeding his false hope, you can talk about the positive changes losing his job may bring to his life.

Depression

• When dealing with someone in depression, you should just spend time with her. The person will have turned inward and may feel alone. Just your company will help her through this stage, even if it doesn't seem like it at first. Depression can spiral deeper and deeper, so it is important to keep the person moving through their grief. Show the person there is a better place ahead and encourage them toward it.

Acceptance

• The final stage of grief can only be reached through the person's complete understanding of his situation and be ready to move to the next stage of his life. For the terminally ill, it may mean finalizing their will and helping their loved ones accept their imminent death. For job loss, the person may feel they are ready to take those steps toward a new future. For someone who is dealing with loss, he may feel ready to face a forever altered world.