How Do You Handle a Spouse Who Is Depressed?

Depression frequently has been described as a black cloud, and that dark feeling can pervade the whole household. Depression is characterized by low mood, apathy, loss of appetite, loss of libido and sometimes by suicidal thoughts. Depression can be reactive, following on some distressing life event or events or have no apparent cause. Depression not only affects the person suffering from it. Because depression affects so much of the sufferer's life, the person who is closest is inevitably affected also.

Instructions

• 1

  Talk to your spouse honestly about what you have noticed. Use the word "depression," but do not pressure him to verbalize his feelings. It is sometimes easier to talk to a person who is not quite so close. If your husband has a history of depression, encourage him to go back to his doctor. If the depression is new, advise him to seek help. If your spouse has been prescribed medication, encourage him to take it.

• 2

  Avoid blaming your spouse for her illness. She cannot help it. You may have to take on additional tasks in the home at this time. Try to do this as willingly as you can, but accept help from close friends and family, if this is offered. Observe your spouse's sleeping and eating patterns, taking particular note of any deterioration.

• 3

  Show as much care and understanding as possible, without taking on a parenting role, and disempowering your partner. It is quite easy to fall into this role, but this will not help your partner's recovery Expect that there will be good and bad days. Depression does get better, but this does not happen overnight. Encourage your partner to exercise and to maintain social contacts, if he feels able to do this

• 4

  Seek support for yourself, as you may be quite seriously affected by your spouse's depression. You may need emotional and financial help, particularly if depression means your spouse has had to have time away from work.