How to Communicate With Depressed Men

Watching someone you care about suffer from depression can be incredibly difficult. You might wonder what you can do to help, but remember that you alone cannot lift him out of his low feelings. According to the Royal College of Psychiatrists, men suffer from depression just as much as women but are less likely to talk about it or ask for help. Although you should encourage a depressed man to seek professional help, you can also encourage him to communicate his feelings to others.

Instructions

• 1

  Ask him about his feelings. A depressed man may struggle to open up about his emotions, so questions like, "When did you start feeling this way?" and, "Did something happen that made you start feeling this way?" can help him explore his feelings. A number of things can trigger depression in men, including problems at work, worries at home and childhood trauma. Showing curiosity for his feelings might make him feel more able to talk.

• 2

  Support him. Remind him that he is important to you, that you care and that you might not understand what he is going through, but you want to help. Ask him whether you can do anything to support him right now. Remember that it is not your job to try to cure or "fix" him, so encourage him to seek professional help too.

• 3

  Exercise patience. It could take weeks, months or even years for his depression to lift. Depressed people can exhibit a pessimistic outlook on life, which might feel frustrating at times. While you need to be honest with him about your feelings, remember that depression is a real illness and you shouldn't take it personally. Becoming angry, raising your voice or snapping at him will not help the communication between you.

• 4

  Set boundaries. You need to be able to express your needs too, especially if you have a close relationship with the depressed man. As Dr. Bob Murray from the Uplift Program writes, "All relationships are based on the mutual meeting of needs." This means being open about your feelings and taking time out from the conversation if you need to. While you need to offer support and encouragement, you can't communicate properly with him if you don't look after yourself as well.

• 5

  Avoid judgmental or dismissive language. Telling him that it is all in his head or that everyone feels down once in a while will not help him. Making light of his feelings could cause him to withdraw and exacerbate any negative internal dialogue he has. Using reflective language such as, "It sounds like you feel sad and frustrated," will show that you accept his emotions and encourage him to communicate.