How to Learn to Manage the Grieving Process

Death is an inevitable and unavoidable fact of life, but that doesn't make it any easier to cope with when you lose someone you love. You must allow your body, heart and mind time to go through the mourning process. Neglecting the stages of grief will only prolong the pain, and it may surface again years later by causing you to have health problems or undue anxieties because you did not allow yourself the proper time to grieve. Whether you have experienced the death of a loved one, or someone close to you has lost a loved one, you must realize that patience, time and understanding are all needed in the healing process.

Instructions

• 1

  Realize that you cannot stop the pain by numbing yourself with prescription drugs, alcohol or other vices. You must pamper yourself and take it easy for a couple of weeks in order to start the long healing process. Isolating yourself is a very common way that some people handle the grieving process. They just want to go into a dark room and pull up the covers and never surface again. Isolating yourself is understandable for a short period of time, but be aware that such isolation is unhealthy if it lasts more than two or three weeks and could be a sign of depression. You should seek counseling if you or others suspect you are depressed for a prolonged period of time.

• 2

  Pay close attention to your health during the grieving process. According to the Mayo Clinic, make sure that you exercise, eat healthy foods and take proper care of yourself. The grieving process can easily escalate into health problems, especially if you have previous medical conditions.

• 3

  Find people to support you during the mourning process. Many people try to avoid friends and gatherings because they know that people are uncomfortable with the subject of death. If you are in the position of comforting someone who is grieving the death of a loved one, you will realize the difficulty of trying to comfort him. It is common to be afraid that you may say something that will upset him. Inviting a grieving person to go to a concert or taking him to see a funny movie will help him to begin his life again. Even though he is in pain, he will realize that life does go on. Knowing that others empathize with his pain, yet care enough to help the grieving person to continue living, is a valuable and poignant message.

• 4

  Talk to your friends, relatives and acquaintances about your loved one. They will want to know that it is acceptable to mention the person who died. Once you talk about your loved one, they will feel free to share their own grief and memories about the person. These stories will help you in the grieving process. Do not be afraid to show emotion to your friends. They want to help you, but they can sometimes be quite uncertain on how to go about comforting you.

• 5

  Realize that everyone grieves in his or her own way. Some people feel that they must wear black and be somber for a period; other people feel that they must celebrate the life of the deceased person and do everything they can to enjoy and make the most of their own life. However you choose to show your grief, do not be ashamed of how you handle the mourning. You know best what is right for you. Some people cry daily for months after losing a loved one, and others shed no tears at all. Neither way is inappropriate, as long as you accept the death of the person and grieve for them. No matter how you do it, the most important thing is to allow yourself to mourn.

• 6

  Know that although your heart is breaking, there will be a time ahead when you want to smile and laugh again. You may never completely get over the loss of a loved one, but you will learn to cope and to remember the person with fond memories. Remember that they will always remain in your heart. Do not feel guilty when you start to think of them less on a daily basis. Remember that the person would have wanted you to go on with your life and to enjoy it to the fullest.

• 7

  Avoid making major decisions for a few months after the death of a loved one. If you must make financial, job or other large decisions, make sure that you consult a trusted friend who will help you decide on the best course of action. It is very hard to make vital decisions after someone has experienced such a loss in their lives. Do not be afraid to seek counseling or ask someone for guidance. People want to assist you.