Therapeutic Communication Techniques

How we communicate reveals something about our personality, sure, but it also perpetuates patterns. Unless we happen to already have effective communication techniques under our belt, the way we communicate can cause problems—even invite them—and without our awareness. Fortunately, we can learn therapeutic communication techniques that minimize stress and maximize overall health and well-being.

Boundaries

• “If you are stressed and overwhelmed, and feel like you just can’t say no, you are more at risk for depression,” says HelpGuide.org. “No, thank you,” is the polite way to dismiss a solicitor at your door, on the phone, or in person. “No, thank you,” doesn’t require an explanation. Think of it this way: Saying no helps the person who asked you for something move one step closer to finding it. Taking good care of yourself now is the best way to take care of others later. Setting boundaries is a therapeutic communication technique that encourages well being.

  If you have to provide an explanation, stick to the truth. If you feel pressured into saying yes to avoid stress, expect even more pressure in the future. Saying yes easily on the phone can lead to a lie later. Learning how to say, “No, thank you,” alleviates all the pressure. Practice saying it to telemarketers, panhandlers and store clerks. Say it with a smile on your face and feel the consolation of control. You are in control of the situation. You can handle this.

Support

• Stress at work can affect well-being in your personal life. North Western Health Sciences University advises: “To take control of this imbalance of work and life, consider how work has changed, then reevaluate your relationship to work, and apply strategies for creating a more healthy balance.” One strategy is to communicate clearly at work. This doesn’t mean to open up about personal issues, but to let coworkers know when you are too busy to talk, tell your boss when you are overwhelmed and ask for help when you need it. Trying to meet the needs of others and taking on too much defeat your purpose. Pretending to be on top when you’re on the bottom prolongs and escalates stress. Let those you work with know you intend to take good care of yourself in order to get the job done.

  Listen with a compassionate ear at home, respect family members and talk about problems calmly. Avoid what the University of Florida's “Stress and Communication” article calls “discouraging communication . . . not talking things through, yelling and screaming, bringing up old problems, and leaving the room or house.” Families that can handle stress well can solve problems constructively.

  Applying therapeutic communication techniques at work and at home may seem impossible. If you cannot practice effective communication, it’s possible you suffer from depression or anxiety, making communication more difficult. When depression or anxiety overwhelm you, it's time to seek professional help. Cognitive-behavioral therapists, in particular, teach communication techniques that will help you realize personal goals.

Happiness

• You’ve probably heard the phrase, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” That seems to deny depression or anxiety. What if we don't have a pitcher in which to make the lemonade or a spoon for stirring? But it illuminates the control we do have: We control how we think. Each of us has heard at least one story about a person enduring extreme hardship who managed to maintain a positive attitude. Stories like that don’t suggest we deny the suffering but that we focus on the positive. Oftentimes, the quickest paths to happiness are empathy and gratitude. If we can walk inside someone else’s shoes, we can say something to comfort her. If we can find someone to feel grateful for, we can say thank you to him. Through our empathy and gratitude, we can communicate our strength.