What to Do if Your Spouse is Suicidal

If your spouse expresses suicidal thoughts or acts like she might harm herself, you might feel scared or confused. Because someone who expresses suicidal feelings may actually try to kill herself, especially if she struggles with depression, substance abuse, bipolar disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder, you should take immediate steps to help her through the crisis. Intervening properly saves lives.
  1. Signs of Suicide

    • Some people show no signs before committing suicide, but many others display symptoms that they are thinking about death. If your spouse shows signs that he may commit suicide, step in, and help. Those signs include talking about death, preparing to do something to harm himself like stockpiling medication or buying a weapon, withdrawing from friends and family, feeling hopeless, changing routines such as sleep habits or acting recklessly. People who abuse drugs or alcohol may have an increased risk of suicide, as do people who have experienced sexual or physical abuse in the past.

    Listen

    • Always take your spouse's threat of suicide or suicidal behavior seriously. Since you may or may not see direct signs of her feelings, feel free to ask if you suspect that something is wrong. Allow her to talk to you, and listen carefully to what she is thinking and feeling. Remember that some people commit suicide after they seem to be recovering from depression, so don't take for granted that her recovery is progressing just because she seems happier. Ask your spouse how she is feeling and whether she is doing OK.

    Help

    • If you believe your spouse may be at risk for or thinking about suicide, help him get professional help. Encourage him to see a psychiatrist or psychologist, and offer to attend the appointment with him. People experiencing deep depression may have trouble performing tasks for themselves. Help your suicidal spouse find a health-care provider, make the appointment, drive him to it and file the insurance claim for him or pay the bill.

      If your spouse refuses treatment, do not try to handle this yourself. You may worry that breaking your spouse's confidence and telling a professional will harm your relationship, but remember that his life may be at stake. More than 33,000 people commit suicide each year, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and many times more people injure themselves trying to commit suicide. Some people who attempt suicide and do not die have lasting disabilities as a result like organ failure or brain damage. Don't allow discomfort or confusion prevent you from helping your suicidal spouse. Call a qualified professional or suicide help line, and explain the situation. Call 9-1-1 if you suspect he is in immediate danger.

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