How Do I Know If Someone Who Is Depressed Is Suicidal?

Suicide is the third-leading cause of death in people aged 15 to 24, and the 11th-leading cause of death for the overall population of the United States, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Many people who commit or attempt suicide suffer from depression, and it's important to know the warning signs if someone you care about is depressed. Even if an attempt is unsuccessful, it can have devastating effects on your life.

Warning Signs

• The most obvious sign that someone is suicidal is, of course, hearing him say it. People often interpret such statements as simply bids for attention, but even if that's all it is, your friend needs help. Healthy people don't talk about wanting to die. If she's talking about suicide and nobody listens, she may hurt herself to try and be heard. Suicide attempts don't know whether they're serious or not: deadly actions can have deadly consequences, no matter what your intentions.

  Other, more subtle signs of suicidal intentions include suddenly giving possessions away, especially things that are important to her; writing a will; expressing feelings of extreme shame or guilt; and increased drug or alcohol abuse. Suicidal people may behave recklessly, believing they're going to die anyway and possibly seeking death without making an actual suicide attempt. They may become more withdrawn, refusing to see or talk to anyone, or may make a point to say good-bye to or reconnect with everyone they know.

  People who have made the decision to commit suicide may actually appear to be in a better mood just before the attempt, seeming to be at peace with things. They may say things like "I just know things are going to be better now" without any reasonable explanation--such as a new job or feeling successful in therapy. If you observe this behavior, it may simply be a sign that the depression is lifting, but be very aware of the other warning signs.

How to Help

• If you think someone you know may be suicidal, don't leave him alone. Encourage him to contact his doctor or a suicide hotline at (800) 273-TALK; if he won't make the call, make it yourself. Keep him away from guns, drugs and other potentially harmful objects. Talk to him and really listen: avoid saying things like "There's nothing to be depressed about" or just telling him things will be okay. Let him talk about what's bothering him, and don't belittle his feelings. Remind him that it's OK to feel the way he does and that he deserves to feel better. Reassure him that you'll be there for him as he gets help. If he seems very distressed and continues to feel suicidal, call 911.

  After the danger has passed, continue to be there for him, but don't focus on his prior suicidal behavior. Take him out for coffee or catch a ball game together; share your own ups and downs with him so he feels less alone. If he's on medication, remind him to take it if necessary, and encourage him to keep his therapy appointments. Work to create positive moments in his life so that the negative seems less overwhelming.