How to Cope With the Pain of an Abusive Relationship

Coping with the pain and anguish of an abusive relationship is difficult and being in an abusive relationship is both physically and mentally unhealthy. However, there are steps that can be taken to disentangle yourself from this situation.

Things You'll Need

• Domestic Violence Advocate
• Support Network of friends and family

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Instructions

• 1

  Understand that abuse is not okay. There is never a reason to accept any type of abuse, whether it be physical, verbal or emotional. There are several reasons that abusers harm their victims; however, the main reason stems from the desire to control another person in every way.

• 2

  Create a detailed safety plan to escape the abuse. Contact a domestic violence agency, such as The National Domestic Violence Hotline, or a local shelter to assist in formulating a safety plan. These agencies have the resources to bring abuse victims to hidden shelters, with police escorts, and maintain a staff of trained advocates. Do not attempt to escape without first speaking with a trained domestic violence advocate. If your abuser is aware of any attempt to depart, your life may be in jeopardy.

• 3

  Seek help from a licensed abuse counselor. Domestic violence counselors specialize in providing women with support and advice regarding abusive situations. Seek counseling resources via a local women's resource center. Counselors are available to speak with you about all types of abuse, not solely physical situations.

• 4

  Keep a private journal. Write down your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. Writing is cathartic and will help you begin to work on your emotional well-being. Each day as you write, be honest with yourself about what you are feeling. If you are feeling sad or angry about the relationship, write that. If you decide to exit the relationship and start to miss your abuser (this is common in abusive relationships), your journal will help you relive the moments of pain and recapture why you left your abuser.

• 5

  Ask for support from trusted friends and relatives. There will be many people willing to lend a helping hand, so never be ashamed to ask for help or support. The situation was not your fault and you were the victim. The classic profile of an abuser is one that is very charming with perfected techniques to take over your emotions within a short time through subtle actions. Abusers use a gradual process of indoctrination and usually look for victims who are not aware of the signs of abuse.

• 6

  Join or start a support group to cope with the effects of the abuse. This is an excellent way to network with other like-minded individuals and also provides a forum to air concerns. The group can also notify you if they notice other signs of abuse that you may not see.