Depression Caused by a Controlling Person

A controlling person is a nightmare. He seeks to shatter your self-esteem because his is in jeopardy. To survive a controlling person, flight is sometimes necessary. As long as you are present, his dictatorial nature will persist. Controlling behavior is widely known to inflict depression in victims.

Control

• The victim has no control over anything. Whether it's what to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, or how to phrase his sentences, the controller rids him of the right to choose. He no longer feels like an individual, thereby losing his sense of who he is. He then plummets into depression, a state in which he becomes isolated and withdrawn.

Mistrust

• The controller is suspicious of every move his partner makes, always thinking she's doing something negative. If she leaves the house wearing full black, he must know why. No matter her reason, it will never be sufficient. She is rendered powerless and hurt that their trust is so elusive. Consumed by living under an incessant microscope of skepticism, her mind is in a constant state of unrest.

Manipulation

• The controller uses manipulation to get what she wants. The victim is subject to various mind games. Example: He went to the store. There were long lines, so it took him an extra 20 minutes to return. She smiles as though it's OK. The next time she goes out, she purposely returns 90 minutes later. The victim takes the blame, though he knows it isn't his fault. He has no assertion and inevitably sinks into a web of depression.

Intimacy

• The victim is forced to display affection when she would rather not. Example: She's a bit perturbed about a major issue in her life. This matters not to the controller, who expects a hug regardless. This triggers defeat in the victim, who must shun her own feelings to satisfy the controller. She is robbed of true closeness, which leaves her empty inside.

Possessiveness

• The controller wants the victim all for herself. Friends and family are viewed as threats. Before he knows it, he has lost all meaningful ties. He is not allowed to go anywhere unless she approves. He is not to be on the phone without her present. he belongs to her. The victim feels imprisoned.

Escape

• The victim sometimes opt to remain with her controller, too afraid to leave. Her self-esteem is tattered and feels irreparable. She accepts the abuse. Through his manipulation, she may even agree with it. To find the strength to leave, the victim must recognize the controller's afflictions, then disagree with them. Some victims seek help through their local church or community centers, which have programs specifically designed for the treatment of depression caused by a controlling person.