How to Make Amends in AA

The eighth and ninth steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are to compile a list of everybody hurt as a result of your addiction and to make amends with each person. Aside from the initial acknowledgment of the drinking problem, making amends can be the most difficult step, since it requires face-to-face meetings with people who have been hurt by your alcoholism. Making amends is much more than a simple apology. An honest effort to show a drastic change and the need to repay and repair any damages must be demonstrated.

Instructions

• 1

  Make a list of everyone you hurt when struggling with your addiction, along with a brief explanation of how you hurt each person. The names can be split into separate categories, such as those people you're most comfortable contacting. Ask your AA counselor for help with this part of the process.

• 2

  Contact each person one at a time, by phone, in an e-mail or through a letter. Inform him or her about your desire to make amends and ask for a time to meet. Do not show up at anybody's door unexpectedly; it may be inappropriate.

• 3

  Give each person a sincere apology and repay anything you took or destroyed, such as money or a car. If repaying a debt is not possible or the harm caused was emotional, let the person know you're willing to do anything it takes to repair the pain caused by you, perhaps by working around the house or running errands. If repaying a large sum of money, try to make a payment arrangement.

• 4

  Give each person your contact information at the end of the meeting.