Stages of Disability Acceptance

Disabilities, whether physical or mental, change lives. People who are diagnosed with a disability go through several grieving stages before they are able to accept their disability. Much like the stages of grief associated with death and dying, passing through the stages of disability acceptance help people cope and live with their disability.

Denial

• People often first respond to learning about a disability with denial. Thoughts like, "This can't be happening" and "This diagnosis is incorrect" are hallmarks of denial. Some people may consciously block reality while others may do so unconsciously. Refusing to deal with the consequences of the disability may inhibit the ability for a productive life through compensatory strategies or other interventions. Since denial obstructs treatment, people must work through this stage to get to acceptance.

Anger

• Once someone overcomes denial, anger is usually felt next. Thoughts and expressions such as, "Why me?" and "I am a good person. This isn't fair" commonly arise during this stage. Anger may be directed toward people or events that may have seemingly caused the disability, or life in general. It may manifest itself in withdrawal and the anger may be shown in physical and verbal attacks. People may also blame the bearer of the news such as the doctor or other diagnostician.

Bargaining

• Bargaining is the third step in the five stages of acceptance outlined by psychiatrist Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. During this stage, people often use religion to try to compromise with God, promising to do anything to make the disability disappear. Statements such as, "I will be a better person if only this disability will go away" don't provide lasting solutions, so it is important to move through this stage to get to acceptance.

Depression

• The sense of hopelessness common at this point in the process may lead to depression. Feelings of worthlessness, guilt and sadness can cause further withdrawal from society. Fear regarding an uncertain future and difficulty adjusting to a new body image or mental self-image may create debilitating depression. While this stage indicates the person accepts that the disability exists, the accompanying isolation impedes the ability to properly cope with the disability and live a productive life.

Acceptance

• Upon reaching the final stage, people feel ready to accept what challenges the disability brings them. Reaching acceptance does not imply happiness regarding the condition, but it indicates a certain level of comfort with the new condition. People who accept their disabilities can more effectively take part in therapy and rehabilitation. Not everyone experiences every stage in this particular order, but resolving each stage encountered is important in order to reach acceptance.