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Alcoholism & Its Effects on the Sober Spouse

Alcoholism affects many aspects of a person's life, including their relationship with their spouse. When your spouse is an alcoholic and you are not, this can affect you in many ways.

  1. Abuse

    • When you have an alcoholic for a partner, you might be subjected to abuse. It often happens when the alcoholic is drunk and can present itself in the form of beatings, or sexual, verbal and emotional abuse.

    Intimacy

    • If you are the sober spouse, you might have difficulty being intimate with your spouse. Communication may be a problem, misunderstandings can occur, and you may put distance between yourself and your spouse. Additionally, some spouses are unfaithful when drinking and this can cause further problems with intimacy.

    Financial

    • Managing finances with an alcoholic spouse can be trying. You might find yourself having to juggle money in order to pay the bills because of your spouse's drinking problem, as he may feel that buying alcohol is more important. Your spouse may also not be able to function at work or be able to work at all due to her alcoholism. If your spouse does not allow you to pay the bills and instead buys alcohol, you may become resentful.

    Denial

    • You may deny that your spouse has a drinking problem or is an alcoholic. Sometimes, it is because you want to keep your family together. According to the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse, the fear of separation often keeps spouses with their alcoholic partner.

    Co-Dependency

    • According to the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse, if you do not confront your spouse's alcohol addiction you are actually enabling or allowing him to continue drinking. You might even neglect your personal needs to allow your spouse to continue drinking, or try to control or cure your spouse and her drinking addiction.

    Stress and Other Emotions

    • You may feel stress, a sense of shame, helpless or even guilt because of your alcoholic spouse. This can lead to depression, or physical and mental problems. Sometimes, when this happens, it can lead you to start drinking yourself just to cope with the situation.

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