How Can I Help My Husband Get Over His Gambling?

According to the Minnesota Department of Human Services, two million American adults have satisfied the criteria of a pathological gambler. A pathological gambler’s wife often has to endure her husband’s problems such as stealing money or using money meant for the children on gambling. She has a tough task in trying to help her husband overcome his addiction.

Help Yourself

• You may have tried to mask your husband’s gambling problem or spent considerable energy trying to get him to quit. Your husband gambling addiction may have also caused you to experience conflicting emotions, such as anger and shame. Realize that you cannot help your husband if you are unwell. Do not blame yourself for your husband’s problem. Protect yourself from financial and emotional ruin. You may feel embarrassed and as though no one else has this issue. Join a support group such as Gam-Anon, which is designed to help the families of problem gamblers. A support group can help to erase your isolative feelings and confusion in dealing with your husband’s problem.

Handling Money

• Problem gamblers are sometimes adept at requesting money, overtly or subtly. Your husband may beg, manipulate, threaten or blame you to get money from you. Practice how you will handle these requests and understand that it takes time to handle them correctly. You may have to take charge of the household finances to ensure that the bills get paid and your credit is not at risk. To avoid enabling your husband’s gambling problem, practice refusing him so when he asks for money you are prepared to say “no”.

Suggest Treatment

• As with any addiction, one of the biggest hurdles is denial. If your husband refuses to admit he has a problem, getting him to agree to treatment will most likely be challenging. Some wives end up leaving their pathological gambling husbands; others stay and hope for the best. Some husbands only seek treatment for their addiction when they suffer a major consequence of their behavior.

  Regardless of your husband’s denial, gently suggest treatment to him. Let him know that he does not have to go it alone and that you will help him to find the appropriate professional. Discuss treatment options such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, which aims to address the root of the addiction and find coping strategies.

  Gamblers Anonymous is a support group for gamblers, patterned after 12-step programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous. A 12-step treatment involves admitting to being powerless over gambling and submitting to a higher power based on the member’s belief. Let your husband know that he is not alone in his plight. A support group can help him to bond and learn from others who have suffered from gambling addiction.