Drug & Alcohol Abuse and the Effects on the Family

Drug and alcohol abuse deeply affects family members. Nobody who is close to the substance abuser remains unscathed. The drug and alcohol abuse permeates every aspect of every relationship, causing pain to parents, spouses and children. In order for the family unit to work, all other family members must sacrifice themselves in a dysfunctional way. The aftereffects of being in a relationship with a substance abuser can affect family members for generations.

Effects on Parents or Spouse

• The parents or spouse of the substance abuser are the ones affected the most, because they want to protect the substance abuser and deny that there is a problem. Because of this, the parent or spouse develops a codependent relationship with the substance abuser. This causes the family member to have self-doubt as he or she second-guesses decisions in the relationship. To maintain the relationship, family members find themselves lying and covering up to protect the substance abuser.

Effects on Children

• Children of substance abusers are deeply affected. They become insecure because they cannot understand their family dynamics. The children have no stability because the same behavior can elicit different reactions from the substance abuser from day to day. They become confused because their family situation is very different from their peers. The children feel responsible and frustrated because they cannot fix the situation by changing their behavior. They feel betrayed as the substance abuser repeatedly breaks his promises.

Considerations

• Family members need to be wary of having any medications in the house that can trigger the cravings for the substance abuser. For this reason, family members can be limited in the drugs that they can take (even over-the-counter drugs) to medicate their own health issues, because they must always consider how it will affect the substance abuser if the medication is in the house. This concern even applies to keeping cooking ingredients in the house, such as cooking sherry.

Misconceptions

• One big misconception is that the substance abuser can stop abusing drugs or alcohol through willpower or on his own initiative. A substance abuser struggles with both a physical and emotional pull toward the drugs or alcohol, which override the person's desire to stop. Although the substance abuser desires to stop, it creates a cycle of lying to hide the substance abuse to "protect" the family.

Prevention/Solution

• Family members of substance abusers should work with a licensed counselor, both personally and as a family, if they want to keep the family unit together. Group support systems are available, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Al-Anon, and Alateen, to offer support and education for all members of the family unit. Each individual needs to recognize how the substance abuse is affecting him as part of the family and set boundaries to protect and take care of himself. Family members need to recognize that actions speak louder than words for long-term success.