Relationships & Addiction Recovery

Recovery is a tough process for anyone working to overcome addition. Relationships can either help that process of recovery or can inhibit it. Personal relationships are often cited as being the the reason or turning point in an addict's life. The right support is instrumental, and with the right personal relationships the recovery process can be accelerated.

The Right Support

• Those who wish to support in the recovery process are almost always well-intentioned, but can falter in their behavior. Support comes not by lecturing or giving unsolicited advice the addict likely already knows and that can also come off as condescending. Support comes through listening, understanding and helping. Simply preparing a meal for an addict, keeping her company when she are feeling weak and showing her she is not alone can mean the world to someone in a fragile condition.

Changing Friends

• A large part of why many addicts find it difficult to quit is that their friends are also addicts, enablers or triggers. Enablers are those who support the addictive behavior, either by condoning it or accepting it. Triggers are people who set off an emotional response in the addict to use; often triggers are very close to the addict. These personal relationships must end for the addict to continue on the path of healthy recovery, as they can slow down and even reverse any progress the addict is making.

Feelings and Judgment

• Those in the addict's life must be careful not to judge or give unsolicited opinions. Likely the addicts is very aware of how destructive his behavior was and does not need to be judged by those who are there for support. Instead, if those in the addict's life wish to support the addict, but feel they need to address past or present behaviors they should communicate their feelings, not opinions. For example, if the addict was verbally abusive in the past, but may not remember it, the person who received the abuse could say "You were really a jerk, why were you so mean?" or that person could speak objectively, which is more constructive, by saying, "There were times in the past where you called me useless and a loser. I know you were not yourself, but still those words really hurt me a lot." This allows the person to get closure by confronting the behavior in a constructive way.

Goals

• One of the most important things an addict can do is set goals. Setting realistic, controllable and achievable goals goes a long way in ensuring that the addict makes personal progress. Relationships are part of goal-setting; if the addict communicates her goals to her support group, the group can then help the addict achieve those goals. For example if the addict has a goal of avoiding a toxic environment, the support group may chose to meet socially at a place that does not serve alcohol.

Romantic Relationships

• A romantic relationship can be very helpful in the recovery process as the addict may be motivated to change for the sake of keeping the relationship healthy. However, caution must be taken that the addict does not link the recovery process to the relationship because if the relationship ends, this could cause a relapse.