Betrayal & Emotional Eating

Betrayal and the emotional eating that ensues can cause a variety of negative, human emotions. While betrayal is not the only cause of emotional eating and not all people who are betrayed turn to food for comfort, when the two intertwine there can be long-lasting, negative consequences. Dealing with betrayal-based emotional eating involves a process of identifying food triggers and learning to cope with the negative feelings that cause emotional pain.

Betrayal

• Psychology Today defines betrayal as "the violation of a presumptive social contract that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship." Betrayal can be as simple as a broken promise or as serious as physical abuse, and it can be real or imagined. For example, a child may perceive that a parent loves one of her siblings more, and that perceived betrayal is just as distressing as one that is real. To the person with the hurt feelings there is no difference. Dating or marriage betrayal is devastating and is one of the hardest to overcome because it involves a loss of trust, shock, disappointment and self-doubt. It can also lead to anger, guilt, fear and self-blame. In the worst case, it can result in a sense of helplessness and depression.

Emotional Eating

• According to the Mayo Clinic, "The strongest cravings for food happen when you're at your weakest point emotionally." Individuals turn to food for comfort when they cannot find comfort elsewhere. Sometimes, turning to food is easier, as it doesn't ask questions that are hard to answer, doesn't judge and is readily available. Food helps people kill negative emotions and can serve as an escape from loneliness, sadness, anger, fear and stress. There are several triggers for emotional eating, including relationship conflicts.

Link

• The link between betrayal and emotional eating is readily apparent. Betrayal leads to anger, guilt and self-blame. These negative emotions and others are known triggers of emotional eating. The closer the relationship, the more devastating the sense of betrayal; the more devastating the betrayal, the more likely the individual will seek comfort from a non-human source.

Consequences

• Emotional eating becomes a habit. After food provides comfort the first time, it is much easier to turn to it again. The longer the emotional conflict from a betrayal remains unresolved, the more likely the attachment to food will increase. Over time, the emotional eater may reach for food as a coping mechanism for all stressful events. Naturally, emotional eating has negative consequences, including feelings of guilt and weight gain, both of which trigger a desire to turn to food for relief. The vicious cycle of negativity and food-based comfort can have long-lasting health implications.

Prevention/Solution

• According to the Mayo Clinic, there are some thing you can do to try to overcome emotional eating. For instance, determine if your desire to eat is based on hunger and keep a food diary to help identify emotional eating patterns. Turn to people you can trust when the desire for emotional eating is strong, and if friends and family are not an option, consider finding a support group. Distract yourself with other activities and keep your home stocked with healthy foods. If the emotional eating urge strikes in the middle of the night, you won't be as likely to leave the house in search of high-calorie, comforting foods. Indulge in an occasional sweet treat to stave off feelings of deprivation. And finally, seek therapy if self-help methods fail to bring about positive change. A good therapist can help you identify negative emotions and suggest new coping strategies.