How to React If a Friend's Baby Has Down Syndrome
Learning that a newborn has Down syndrome can be an upsetting time for new parents. Feelings range from fear to anger to grief. Supportive friends who know what to do and say can bring parents solace in this confusing, frightening time.Instructions
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Congratulate the parents. New parents don't want pity. They want to hear you gush over their beautiful baby.
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Spend time with your friends. Sometimes friends stay away at difficult times because they don't know what to say. All that does is increase the parents' isolation and pain. Visit when they let you. Be honest if you don't know what to say or do, but let them know you're there to lend support and assistance.
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Interact with the child. Pick her up, play with her and talk to her just as you would with any infant. Ask the parents what's allowed and what isn't.
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Offer to watch the baby while Mom takes a much needed nap or let the parents go out to dinner. You also could bring dinner in for them, then watch the baby in the nursery while they have a quiet, relaxed meal in a candlelit kitchen or dining room.
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Listen to your friend when she's ready to talk. Don't ask for details about the condition. Allow your friend to speak about what she learns and what she fears. Although support is one aspect of friendship, sometimes a friend just needs to vent her feelings within a trusted relationship.
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Reseach Down syndrome so that you can say the right things. Don't react to the child based on stereotypes you've seen on TV.
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Gather resources about Down syndrome for your friend, but hold onto the information until the time is right. For example, offer information about support groups when one of the parents expresses interest in talking with other parents of Down syndrome children.
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