Why does my possibly narcissist boyfriend keep telling me he loved his ex wife and girlfriends but make point of saying that not love - is this a lie or just brutally honest man?

There are a few possible reasons why your boyfriend might keep telling you he loved his ex-wife and girlfriends but makes a point of saying that he doesn't love you. It's important to consider the context and his overall behavior to understand his intentions. Here are a few possibilities:

1. True Emotional Connection: It's possible that your boyfriend genuinely had strong feelings for his previous partners and is being honest about his past relationships. Some people may find it difficult to express love in the present moment but still acknowledge the love they felt in the past. This doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you, but it could indicate that he finds it challenging to express his emotions freely.

2. Manipulation or Control: If your boyfriend constantly brings up his past relationships and emphasizes his love for them, it could be a manipulative tactic. By doing this, he may be trying to make you feel insecure, jealous, or unworthy of his love. This behavior could be a form of emotional control, intended to keep you emotionally attached to him.

3. Lack of Empathy or Understanding: Narcissists often lack empathy and may not fully comprehend the impact of their words on others. Your boyfriend may be unaware that his statements about his ex-partners are causing you distress and may genuinely believe he is being honest without considering your feelings.

4. Testing Your Reactions: Some people may engage in provocative behavior to gauge their partner's reactions. By mentioning his ex-partners and their relationships, he could be testing your emotional boundaries and trying to understand your level of insecurity.

5. Comparative Behavior: If your boyfriend frequently compares you to his ex-partners or brings them up in conversations, it could indicate that he is engaging in comparative behavior. This behavior can be hurtful and designed to make you feel inadequate or less worthy.

6. Fear of Commitment: Some people may use past relationships as an excuse to avoid committing fully to a current relationship. By emphasizing his past loves, your boyfriend could be distancing himself emotionally and avoiding vulnerability.

It's important to trust your instincts and consider how his behavior affects your overall well-being. If you feel that your boyfriend's words or actions are causing you emotional distress or making you doubt your self-worth, it's essential to have an open and honest conversation with him about your feelings. If his behavior persists and negatively impacts your relationship, it might be helpful to seek the advice of a professional counselor or therapist.