It Takes Two: How Couples Maintain Love and Intimacy When One of Them Has Lupus

Living with lupus, a chronic autoimmune disease, can bring unique challenges to a relationship. When one partner has lupus, both partners must navigate the physical and emotional effects of the disease to maintain love and intimacy. Here are some strategies to help couples cope:

1. Open Communication:

- Encourage honest and open conversations about feelings and needs.

- Talk about the impact of lupus on the relationship, both positive and negative.

- Express feelings of frustration, fear, or sadness without judgment.

2. Empathetic Support:

- The partner without lupus should be empathetic and supportive.

- Offer emotional support during flare-ups and difficult times.

- Understand that lupus symptoms can affect mood, energy levels, and intimacy.

3. Share Responsibilities:

- Divide household tasks and responsibilities fairly to reduce the burden on the partner with lupus.

- Seek help from family or friends if necessary to lighten the load.

4. Maintain Intimacy:

- Intimacy goes beyond physical touch. Show affection through kind words, quality time, and acts of service.

- Explore non-penetrative forms of intimacy like cuddling, kissing, and massaging.

- Talk to your doctor about medications that may impact sexual function.

5. Prioritize Self-Care:

- Encourage self-care for both partners.

- Help your partner with lupus take care of their health, including medication management and appointments.

- Ensure you both have time to relax and recharge to prevent burnout.

6. Seek Professional Help:

- Consider couples counseling or therapy to help navigate the emotional challenges of living with lupus.

- A therapist can provide tools and strategies for healthy communication and coping.

7. Educate Together:

- Learn about lupus together to understand the disease better.

- Reading books or articles, joining support groups, and talking to healthcare professionals can enhance your knowledge.

8. Be Flexible:

- Lupus symptoms can be unpredictable, so be flexible with plans and expectations.

- Be prepared to adjust activities or routines to accommodate flare-ups.

9. Celebrate Small Wins:

- Acknowledge and celebrate even small achievements or milestones in managing lupus.

- Celebrate moments of intimacy, connection, and closeness as a couple.

10. Strengthen Your Bond:

- Nurture your relationship outside of the context of lupus.

- Engage in activities you enjoy together, such as hobbies, date nights, or vacations.

Remember that every couple is different, and what works for one may not work for another. It's essential to find the strategies that work best for your relationship and adapt them as needed over time.