Dealing with Self-Esteem Problems as a Result of Incontinence

Five to six million men in the United States have incontinence, according to the National Association For Continence. Although the condition is common, men diagnosed with it may suffer from many problems — physically, socially and emotionally. When the problem first arises, it may take some work to rebuild your self esteem. "Focus on your strength and values," suggests Elizabeth Lombardo, a clinical psychologist and physical therapist in private practice in Chicago. "Your confidence will return as a result."

You're Still You

If you were to die tomorrow, the last thing someone would write in your obituary was that you have incontinence. In fact, they probably wouldn't even think it was worth mentioning, given that over 25 million men and women in America suffer from the symptom. Not to mention that the condition more than likely isn't permanent — only 20% of men still suffer from incontinence a year after first being diagnosed with it. "Take it for what it is," says Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo. "It's simply a part of your body that's not working as well as it used to. It's not a big deal."

The important thing to remember is that it's just your body — and bodies are inherently fragile. As men age, certain things change — one such thing is that your prostate enlarges, a condition that effects 17 million men in the United States. This, along with prostate removal for cancer, is one of the main causes of incontinence in men.

The good news is that value systems and behavior doesn't change — you are still capable of being yourself. "Your core beliefs have nothing to do with what's going on physically," says Lombardo. "Remember the things you like best about yourself, and focus on them exclusively."

Dealing With Lost Self Esteem

Whatever you do, Lombardo warns, don't isolate yourself because of your condition. "Withdrawing socially makes you even more depressed about incontinence," she says. "It's a downward spiral that's hard to reverse."

The first thing Lombardo recommends to draw you out of your shell is to volunteer. "Helping other people really does alter our brains," she says. It really helps to see that our issues aren’t so big."

Another thing that that will help boost your confidence is exercise, even if that exercise means a solitary stroll in nature.

Why does exercise help? Because it alleviates stress in your mind and body. "When our stress levels are low, we are able to think more rationally," Lombardo says. "It's a proactive way to improve our moods."

Incontinence Is Not a Terminal Illness

The good news is that with some care and discipline, the condition is easy to treat — or at least alleviate. Things like cutting caffeine out of your diet, taking medication and exercising can make a world of difference. Although Kegel exercises — also known as pelvic floor exercises — are more commonly associated with women's health, they can also work for men suffering from incontinence. The National Association for Continence recommends 10 slow contractions and ten fast ones up to three times a day.

Lombardo also recommends making yourself as comfortable as possible when dealing with the less savory aspects of the condition. "If there's an odor, or something gets messy, take the necessary steps you need to feel comfortable and clean," she said. These can include wearing absorbent or disposable underwear, compression pouches that support the urethra or even external collection units which are pouches that fit inside the boxer. All of these can easily be found online or at the pharmacy.

"Be proactive about your happiness," she says. Ultimately, it's your contentment that matters most.