Funny Diet Tips

It is not ironic that every website or book you search comes up with the same tips and tricks when it comes to dieting. They may color their words or paint a pretty picture of the end game, but dieting is all the same, no matter what type of diet you do or how much you decide to exercise. If you follow these tips, you will lose weight. Guaranteed.

Calories in, Calories Out

• The experts are not just blowing smoke when they say total calories in must be less than total calories out. It does not matter how many fat-free, sugar free, low-carb meals you eat. If you consume more calories than you burn, guess what? Weight gain is coming your direction at a rapid speed. If you want to diet to lose weight, eat fewer calories. Plain and simple. No tricks or gimmicks. That is the basis for all weight loss theories and plans. We could develop a candy bar diet in a flash and be successful at weight loss. The only requirement? The total calories in the bars you consume each day are less than required by your body. The result will be weight loss, though, as you can imagine, not in the healthiest sense.

Exercise, Yes, It is a Must

• If you are dieting, then yes, sadly, you must hop on that treadmill or recumbent bike long enough to work up a sweat. The world of dieting does not stop with watching what you eat. Dieting is a full-body process and to get healthy, you have to suck it up and hit the gym. Your heart, lungs and withering muscles will thank you, repeatedly, with more energy than you will know what to do with--but you can always burn it off at the gym. It is circular logic, but it works. Oh, and don't weigh yourself every day. You will retain water when you first start working out, and your muscles will be freaking out and holding onto anything they can find as they are not used to this kind of daily beating--yet.

Small Meals? Seriously?

• Throw the "three square meals a day" idea right out the window, along with the doughnuts and candy bars. The best way to keep your dieting metabolism at its peak is to feed it--constantly. When we say constantly, we mean six to eight times a day. Will you be hungry more often? Yes. Will you want to reach for chocolate or chips or something high in fat? Probably. Can you have a huge meal for dinner? Absolutely not. If you want to be a successful dieter, you have to handle those cravings with options like carrot sticks and water. Remember to throw in some protein, of course, as it is the key to building those muscles from all your hard work at the gym.