How to Gain Weight AFTER Gastric Bypass Surgery

It's been two or more years since you went under the knife and had part of your innards permanently re-arranged so you can't eat very much, or a laproscopic band placed around your stomach. You did it because you were desperate, and after years and years of yo-yo dieting and gaining more weight after those diets, your health was in dire peril. As a last resort, you opted for weight loss surgery.

You fully expected your life to change, and the weight to fall off like magic. It did, for the first 6-12 months. But that was the honeymoon period, and now, some of those old behaviors have started to emerge. The doctors all said, "protein, protein, PROTEIN!", and LITTLE or no carbs if you want to keep losing or maintain your weight loss. Well...the doctors don't know EVERYTHING, do they?

Things You'll Need

• A willingness to ignore doctors' orders
• An increased consumption of refined carbohydrates, high fat food and large portions.
• A massive amount of denial about what you are doing to yourself

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Instructions

• 1

  Disregard all of your doctors' instructions. You've been on those gastric bypass web sites where people got to their goal weight,kept it off for years AND they EAT WHATEVER THEY WANT! Wow! It's a dream come true! Lose weight, keep it off forever and still enjoy pizza, fried chicken, donuts, ice cream, cheeseburgers, chili cheese fries...forget those stupid doctors! Those people on the weight loss surgery web sites are living proof that the medical folks aren't always right!

• 2

  Refuse to go to your follow up appointments. Why bother? You're doing fine, running around and shopping for the first time in years--and so what if you stop at the food court to get a bite in-between bargains? You deserve it. You've endured unbelievable pain with that surgery, and a little reward every now and then won't hurt. You have better things to do than go see that dumb old doctor. "I want a slice of the thick crust pepperoni with a side of garlic bread..."

• 3

  Hide your bathroom scale. Or give it to your mother-in-law, who needs it more than you do. Or better yet, throw it out. Weighing yourself is drastically overrated. You know you're looking good!

• 4

  Completely ignore the horrified stares and panicked remonstrances coming out of the mouths of beloved family members and friends:
  "Are you supposed to be eating that?"
  "I thought you couldn't eat refined carbohydrates!"
  "The doctors say that bread, pasta and rice will make you throw up!"
  "Come on, that's enough! Did that surgery stop working or something?"
  "I thought your stomach was too small to hold all that food."
  "You can eat candy?"