What can I write for a baby shower that is funny first time parents?

Title: "Oh Baby! First-Time Parents' Guide to Surviving Chaos"

Congratulations to the first-time parents-to-be! While you're getting ready for this roller-coaster ride, it's important to remember that humor is vital for surviving the chaos. So, here's a handy guide to help you navigate this crazy adventure.

1. Sleep: A Distant Memory

Brace yourselves for sleepless nights and forget the beauty of uninterrupted ZZZs. Your little bundle of joy will surely introduce you to the concept of "sleep in shifts."

2. Diaper Duty: Welcome to Boot Camp!

Diaper changing will become an art form, and you'll develop a sixth sense for detecting dirty diapers. It might be time to invest in a hazmat suit for those explosive diaper scenarios!

3. Breastfeeding or Bottle-Feeding: Embrace the Adventure!

Prepare for laughter and tears during the breastfeeding or bottle-feeding journey. It's like a mix between a culinary experience and a comedy show—who needs stand-up when you have babies burping on cue?

4. The Spit-Up Show: It's a Waterfall!

Babies have a special talent for creating tiny fountains. If you're wearing nice clothes, consider adding a bib or plastic cover for self-protection.

5. Endless Questions and Second Guessing: Welcome to the World of Uncertainty

Every parenting decision will come with a side of "Are we doing this right?" Remember, nobody truly knows what they're doing.

6. Coffee Dependency: Fueling the Chaos

Caffeine will become your lifeblood. You might as well invest in stock in your favorite café.

7. Babyproofing: A Never-Ending Game

Baby gates, outlet covers, and cabinet locks will become your best friends. They might even start selling "babyproof starter packs" soon.

8. The Crying Marathon: A Symphony of Tears

Babies cry. A lot. Don't be alarmed—it's just their way of communicating. Maybe try interpretive dance to reply.

9. Wardrobe Malfunctions: Oops, Wardrobe Emergency

With frequent spit-ups and blowouts, you might find yourself in some compromising outfit situations. Dry-cleaning bills will skyrocket.

10. Laugher Through the Chaos: The Key to Survival

Remember, it's all about finding moments of laughter and joy in this whirlwind of parenthood. Embrace the imperfections and celebrate the chaos—together, you'll make this adventure one for the books.

P.S. Don't forget to have a backup stash of chocolate and ice cream for those challenging moments. Good luck, and congratulations once again!