Grief Projects for Children

In all the emotional upset following a loss, adults sometimes find it hard to address how children are feeling. According to Beth Vaughan Cole PhD. of the University of Utah, a parent who is overwhelmed with personal grief may find it difficult to talk in a straightforward manner with young school-aged children. There are many simple projects parents and relatives can do to assist children cope with periods of grief.

Stories

• Books open up discussion that might otherwise be impossible.

  Children expect stories which are a regular and natural part of childhood. Many books teach life lessons including how to process grief and articulate feelings about loss. Age-appropriate books for young children include pop-ups, big words and bright pictures. A story book might open up discussion that is otherwise impossible to approach directly with a child. Letting a child talk uninterrupted,simply listening and gently steering them towards explaining their feelings might be all a child needs.

Drawings

• Drawing pictures is a common thing for children to do so art therapy is popular among youth counselors. Adults can use similar strategies when putting together grief projects for children. Supplies include paper, crayons, paint and anything children use to draw. Ask an open ended question, for example, "when Grandpa died I felt...", and leave the last part of the question for the child to fill in. Ask them to draw the rest of the sentence. Look out for and encourage emotional expression.

Book of Memories

• A scrapbooking project provides children with a memorial

  Children need memorials just as adults do. A scrapbook project is an effective path to giving children a concrete way to remember a lost loved one. The child collects mementos, trinkets, pictures, pieces of fabric and other items significant to the lost relationship. Making a scrapbook is a good project for adults and children to do together. Flipping through a book of memories together opens up discussion and improves communication.

Messages to the Lost Loved One

• Grieving children might find it pleasing to learn they can write letters or draw pictures to the lost. It is an exercise similar to laying flowers by a grave. Talking directly to the deceased tends to open up feeling talk and allow children to express deep emotions that otherwise remain dormant. It's very important that adults assist, ask open ended questions and praise feeling expression.

Emotional Expression

• Family Relations Specialist Minnell Tralle explains in her article "Helping Children through Grief" that it is important to help children express emotions. This is a primary goal when helping a child cope with loss. Projects are developed not only to help children identify and communicate feelings, they are designed to help parents and family members be effective with children while dealing with their own grief.