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Counseling Techniques for Kids

Based on the age difference between children and adults, the two are not always able to communicate effectively. Children can be withdrawn and they can shut down and get nervous or scared if they are not communicated with in a way that they can understand. There are a few counseling techniques that can help adults better communicate with kids to achieve helpful results for both parties.

  1. Try to Understand

    • Asking abrupt, very direct questions can intimidate children and make them stay closed up and withdrawn. Try to understand how the child is feeling by asking them questions in a calm and understanding voice that will make them feel at ease. Try to understand what they feel because that could be very different than what you feel as an adult. For example, when talking about divorce, don't say, "I understand you may be sad about your mommy and daddy getting a divorce." Try to gain more insight by asking a questions such as, "What do you think the relationship between a mommy and daddy is like?" That will help get a child to better explain how they feel.

    Role-playing

    • Role-playing is a popular tool to get children to express their emotions. They may have trouble understanding and expressing how they feel, but they may be able to express themselves better when asked to show what they actually see. Depending on the age of the child, they may be able to write a "play" or a script about what they see and act that out for you. You may be able to get a child to open up more by saying something like, "Your family is really interesting. Can you show me how they act and how they talk to each other?"

    Art Therapy

    • Art therapy is a tool used for mental health counseling for people of all ages. Most children take an interest in art and get easily distracted by it. When people are focused on a particular activity such as this, they can be more open when having a conversation. Art therapy can also help you better understand what children are feeling. Dark images can be a child's way of expressing sadness and grief. Look closely at what the child produces. Ask them to draw family members. Pay attention to how they present people. Is dad always drawn yelling? Is mom drawn crying? That will help you better understand how to deal with particular situations.

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