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Anger Management Tips for Children and Teens

Anger is a natural emotion and a defense mechanism. Learning to control anger as a child or a teen is essential to controlling it as an adult later in life. An inability to control anger can lead to physical problems later in life, such as chronic headaches, sleep disorders, digestive problems, high blood pressure, and even heart attacks. The anger management skills your child or teen learns now will help her as an adult as well.

  1. Count to 10

    • Try to calm down your child. Instruct him to take a deep breath and count slowly to 10. If need be, encourage him to count to 10 a second time. This gives your child time to think of a rational way to solve the problem at hand.

    Draw Out Feelings

    • Even for adults, anger is sometimes hard to discuss, so drawing may be an easier and safer release. Have your child draw what is on her mind. Let her do whatever she wants to the picture. She may scribble out someone's face or draw him with horns. The picture does not need to be realistic. This technique is especially helpful with younger children.

    Keep a Journal

    • If your child prefers to write instead of draw, have her journal about her anger. She may also choose to write a story or poem about her feelings. The journal must be her safe place--she must believe that whatever she writes, real or fantasy, is not going to be held against her. Reassure her that you will not read her journal. This technique may work better for teens.

    Exercise

    • Buy your child a punching bag so he can punch something without fear of injury. Encourage him to swim laps. Have him run or otherwise exercise off his anger. Be sure your child is supervised and not left to wander alone.

    Say a Prayer

    • If you are religious, have your child say a simple prayer. Encourage her to simply repeat it as needed. The prayer sooths the spirit and quiets the mind. When she has calmed down, she will be able to deal with the situation much more rationally.

    Reward Good Behavior

    • Reward your child with a hug or praise when he does control his temper. Children and teens want approval from parents and other authority figures. Do not reward with tangible items. A child's craving for stickers and gold stars can easily lead to a teen's demanding more expensive rewards. Children need to learn positive anger management techniques as an invaluable life skill.

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