What to Do When a 4-Year-Old Won't Potty Train

Potty training can be a stressful time for both parents and children. Try not to make it worse by playing the comparison game. Your niece may have been potty trained by age three, but that doesn't mean your child is delayed because he's still in diapers at age four. Not all kids are ready at the same time. The National Institutes of Health recommends that you don't scold your child if he's resistant to potty training. Try taking a break for a few months, and then try again.

Readiness

• According to the Mayo Clinic, there isn't a specific that your child should potty train. It depends on whether they're emotionally and physically ready. Your child will give you clues when it's time. Ask these questions before you move forward:

  --Does your child have bowel movements around the same time everyday?
  --Is your child able to take a two-hour nap without wetting her diaper?
  --Does your child show an interest in wearing underpants?
  --Can your child put on and pull off a pair of pants?
  --Does your child tell you when it's time to change his diaper?

  If you answered "yes" to most of these questions, then your child is probably ready to potty train.

Instructions

• If your child is afraid of potty training, try explaining in simple language what the toilet is for. Show him the potty chair, but don't pressure him to use it. He may prefer a chair that fits over the toilet seat instead. Put a stool under the toilet so your child can rest his feet on something. Allow him to sit on the seat with or without a diaper.

  Make sure everyone who takes care of your child is involved in the potty training. Inconsistency in training can make it harder to train your child. If you know your child tends to have bowel movements around the same time every day, schedule potty training during those times. Stay with your child until she's ready to leave the bathroom. Kids can be forgetful, so you want to make sure you set aside blocks of time for training each day.

  You should be prepared to give three months of daily encouragement before your child is ready to use the toilet on his own. Try celebrating a successful trip to the bathroom with a reward. If they like to collect shells, for example, you can get them a new one every time they potty. Or you can take them on a special trip to their favorite park or ice cream shop.

  Once your child appears more comfortable using the toilet, try taking away her diaper and leaving her in training pants or underwear. Even if she has an accident, don't make a big deal out of it. It's all part of the process.

Tips & Warnings:

• The American Academy of Pediatrics says you shouldn't potty train during times of stress or major change, such as a death in the family or a move to a new home. It's best to wait until your child indicates that he's ready.

  You can always talk to a pediatrician about any concerns you have. There may be physical reasons why your child is having a hard time potty training, such as constipation.