Tools for Dealing With Difficult Behavior in Children

Raising a child is undoubtedly a difficult task that comes with a wide array of unforeseen challenges. Even the most well-behaved child will become unruly at some point, and you need to be ready to deal with it properly. There is no rulebook for dealing with difficult behavior in children; strategies vary according to the parent and the child. While no particular strategy is the correct one, there are a number of tools for dealing with difficult behavior in children.

Prevention and Positive Reinforcement

• Spending daily quality time with your children may actually be one of the most beneficial tools for dealing with difficult behavior. According to Karin Suesser, a clinical psychologist in Wisconsin, the best strategy is prevention through positive reinforcement. Suesser states that you should spend quality time with your children for at least 10 to 15 minutes a day and show them that you love them. Reinforce the positive things they do with encouragement and approval. By encouraging their good behavior you are building their self-esteem and encouraging their overall cooperation in the future. Your praise will construct a relationship based on respect, honesty and love, which will in turn lessen the amount of difficult behavior in the long run. It is important to praise children’s achievements and good behavior. Children strive for attention from their parents, and they will find it any way they can. By rewarding their successes, you will reinforce the positive attention they desire.

  A well-defined set of rules and a regular schedule also can be beneficial tools for dealing with difficult behavior in children, according to Suesser. Children need to know their boundaries and what to expect in certain situations. Suesser suggests creating a list of household rules for your children to abide by. These rules could include simple things like doing the dishes after dinner, making the bed in the morning or taking out the trash. Rules also create routine, which gives your children a sense of purpose throughout the day. While it is important to set guidelines for your children, it is equally as important to avoid setting too many. According to the Mayo Clinic, too many new rules can become frustrating for children and may trigger difficult behavior. At first, make rules based around general safety, and then increase the type and amount of rules you set.

Dealing with Difficult Behavior

• No matter how much positive reinforcement and how many preventative measures you use, every child is bound to engage in some difficult behavior. The Mayo Clinic suggests remaining calm when dealing with difficult behavior. Becoming frustrated or angry will only escalate the problem. You should use a friendly tone when making a request and always be polite, states the Mayo Clinic. Keep your request short and calm, and remind them of the rules. This should send the proper signal to your children to be respectful and should ease the tension of the situation.

  You should never allow children to get their way through argument or whining. Instead, sit down and have a conversation with your children through active listening, states Suesser. Let them know that whining and argument will not get them what they want, but that asking nicely will. Through this method you will reinforce good behavior and decrease the negativity of whining and argumentative behavior.

Consequence

• While a calm demeanor with difficult behavior may thwart some rule- breaking, it is important to maintain and enforce consequences. Consequences let children know that their behavior is looked down upon, and that there will be a price to pay for unacceptable behavior. According to the Mayo Clinic, these can include a timeout, withholding certain privileges or taking away toys. Consequences should be consistent and should be enforced regularly when dealing with difficult behavior.