Strategies to Help Children Maintain Good Behavior
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Positive Feedback
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The article "Strengthening Good Behaviors and Reducing Bad Behaviors" on FamilyEducation.com advises parents to use positive feedback when good behavior occurs. Positive feedback is based on the psychological theory known as behaviorism. Behaviorism asserts that when human beings are rewarded for a behavior, they are more likely to exhibit that behavior again. When you notice your child doing something "good" such as sharing, saying "please" or "thank you," or quietly playing by themselves, you should give her verbal praise that increases her confidence and lets her know that you appreciate her good behavior. Punishment can be used as well, but only in small doses and only non-corporal punishment. For example if your child knows that they have a certain chore to do and they do not do it, you can give them a "time-out" or take away a reward such as dessert at dinner or a portion of their allowance. When using punishment, it's extremely important that you clearly state while the child is being punished and how long the punishment will last. Be consistent. Don't assign a punishment when you are angry or upset. Be rational about the consequences of your child's actions, and remember that the punishment is intended to eliminate the negative behavior, not make them suffer for their transgression.
Ignoring Bad Behaviors
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The same article on FamilyEducation.com also suggests that you ignore bad behaviors. Now, this does not mean that you allow your child to run through your house beating on the walls with a plastic baseball bat or indulge in some other bad behavior. Instead, you cause those bad behaviors to become "extinct" by no longer giving any reward for the behavior. Children by nature seek attention and for some children, being yelled at by a parent is just another type of attention that reinforces their behavior. Although it can be difficult to hold your temper and tongue when your child is behaving badly, maintain your calm by removing yourself from the physical space you are sharing with your child, take a few deep breaths, and then return. If you're child is having a tantrum, ignore him until the tantrum passes. This let's him know that such behavior doesn't help him get what he wants.
Lifestyle Strategies
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The article "A Dose of Good Behavior" by Natasha Raymond on PsychologyToday.com emphasizes that healthy nutrition can lead to and encourage good behavior. Citing a 2001 study published in the International Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, the researchers found that children between the ages of 6 and 12 who received nutritionally complete vitamins were less likely to need discipline and indulge in inappropriate behaviors than those who did not receive the vitamins. In addition to a well-balanced diet, it also helps to make sure your child has a sense of stability and security at home. The article "Child Behavior: What Parents Can Do to Change Their Child's Behavior" suggests that parents and caregivers establish a routine at home and stick to it. This is especially important in the mornings, during mealtimes and bedtime, as this is often when children tend to get fussy or impatient. Offer your child choices instead of ultimatums. For example, during breakfast time, ask her if they'd like one kind of cereal over another instead of insisting she have a particular type or brand. Presenting your child with choices not only fosters good behavior, it also improves confidence, communication skills and self-worth.
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