How to Discipline a 4 Year Old Child

By the age of 4, most children are eager to exercise a great deal of independence in their daily routine. They may want to dress themselves, help prepare their own food and play with other children without the direct supervision of an adult. Although this growing sense of independence should be encouraged and fostered, it is important to maintain clear rules governing behavior both in and out of the home. When these rules are broken, reasonable consequences should be enforced. Although the most effective form of discipline may vary from one child to the next, here are suggestions for discipline strategies that are appropriate for 4-year-olds.

Instructions

Time Out

• 1

  Get down on the child's level and clearly and calmly identify the behavior that was unacceptable. For example, "Bobby, we cannot use our hands for hitting."

• 2

  Instruct the child to take a seat in a designated "time out" chair and inform him that he must remain quiet until his "time out" is done.

• 3

  Set a timer for 4 minutes and tell your child that when he hears the beep, he needs to come down from the chair and express a specific apology for the inappropriate behavior. This apology should be directed towards the person he offended and it should identify the behavior. For example, "Mommy, I am sorry I hit you." If he is not ready to do this when the 4 minutes are up, he may remain in the chair until he is ready to say he is sorry.

• 4

  Express forgiveness towards your child and tell him that you love him.

Discipline of Silence

• 5

  Get down on the child's level and clearly and calmly identify the behavior that was unacceptable. This discipline is most effective when addressing offenses that involved the child speaking, screaming or whining in an inappropriate way. For example, "Terry, it is not kind to scream at daddy."

• 6

  Inform the child that, because he used his mouth in an unkind way, he must now remain quiet for 4 minutes. He may play or continue whatever he was doing, but he may not make any sounds.

• 7

  Set the timer for 4 minutes and tell your child that when the timer beeps, he must express an appropriate apology that is directed towards the person he offended and that identifies the behavior. For example, "Daddy, I'm sorry I screamed at you when you told me to clean up my toys." If he is not ready to say he is sorry when the time is up, he must stay quiet until he is prepared to apologize.

• 8

  Express forgiveness towards your child, and tell him that you love him and that you are glad he is learning to use his mouth to be kind towards others.

Loss of Privileges

• 9

  Get down on the child's level, and clearly and calmly identify the behavior that was unacceptable. For example, "Mia, we don't throw our toys."

• 10

  Choose a toy or privilege to deprive your child of as a result of her behavior and clearly express your reasoning to your child. For example, "Mia, because you threw your doll, I am going to put her up on top of the refrigerator for the rest of the day," or "Because you threw your toy, you will not be able to have cookies after lunch today."

• 11

  Instruct your child to apologize for the offense she committed. For example, "Mommy, I am sorry that I threw my doll."

• 12

  If you removed a toy or item from your child, consider allowing her to "earn" it back the following day by demonstrating her ability to remember rules or accomplishing certain tasks.