How to Teach Children to Identify Feelings & Why

Feelings identification is an important developmental skill. Children should know that they can talk about their feelings and how to describe their feelings when something is wrong (reference 1). Young children lack the language skills necessary to describe their feelings, leading to acting out behaviors such as hitting, screaming and crying (reference 2). Children can begin learning at an early age how to express their feelings in a healthy way. Parents and educators can help them develop this skill through play, activities and modeling.

Instructions

• 1

  Model appropriate expression of feelings. If a child observes that you are visibly frustrated, describe your emotions to the child. For example, if you spill something on the floor, you could say, "I am really upset that I spilled my drink. I'm sad because now I don't have anything to drink, and I'm mad that I have to clean it up." This teaches children what words to use in similar situations and how to express their feelings appropriately.

• 2

  Play "feelings" games. Although there are many games available for purchase at teacher supply stores and online, you can make up your own feelings games. Write as many "feelings" words as you can think of on individual index cards (reference 3). Each player can draw a card and identify a time that he experienced that feeling. For another game, draw faces that show different feelings on paper plates. Hold up the plates and let the child identify what feeling word describes each face. The adult and child can also take turns making different facial expressions and guessing the feeling.

• 3

  Give children the words to describe their feelings. Observe the child's behavior and describe what he appears to be feeling. When the child is angry because he cannot play outside, say to him, "I see that you are angry right now." If you observe a child crying, you could say, "I see that you are feeling sad; what happened?" Also describe positive feelings such as happy, excited and proud.

• 4

  Read books about feelings. Books such as "The Feelings Book" by Todd Parr (2005) and "The Way I Feel" by Janan Cain (2000) describe different feelings that children may experience. Most children's books provide the opportunity to discuss feelings. Talk about the pictures in the books. Describe the facial expressions of the characters, such as how the mouth and eyes are shaped. Ask the child how she thinks the character feels. Talk with the child about why the character feels that way.

• 5

  Complete a "feelings diary" or "feelings chart." Each day the child will indicate one feeling that he felt that day. Young children can use a chart with a variety of "feelings faces" to choose from. They can make an "x" in the box to indicate the feeling for that day. Then help them correctly identify the feeling, if needed, and allow them to talk about the feeling and what made them feel that way. Children who can write can use a journal and write a word or sentence to describe how they felt. The journal can be a bound book, spiral notebook or sheets of paper stapled together.