How to Console Someone Who Has Lost a Parent

The death of a parent is often one of the most devastating events in a person's life. Trying to console someone who has lost a parent can be a complicated and draining process as well. People in mourning need love, and one of the most vital things you can do is to let the mourners know they are not alone.

Instructions

• 1

  Take your cues from the person who is grieving. Listen if she wants to talk. Sit in caring silence if she doesn't. If she requests a distraction, ("I just need to get out of this house!") take her somewhere. Let the person in mourning set whatever pace is right for her.

• 2

  Accept the person's grief, no matter what form it takes. Some people become sad and withdrawn after a parent's death. Others feel abandoned or become angry. Grief over the loss of a parent is an individual journey. There is no template. Accept that his grief is unique to him and that there is no 'wrong' way to mourn.

• 3

  Prepare yourself for changes of emotion. The death of a parent brings about profound mood swings. She may seem hopelessly sad one day and furious the next. A parent's death can be one of the most catastrophic occurrences in a person's life. Wide varieties of emotions are likely to present themselves. Don't let them scare you away.

• 4

  Let the person know how much you care. It can be in words or by a caring touch, sending flowers to the funeral or bringing her a home-cooked meal. Let her know she's important to you and that she's not alone. Don't worry about not knowing the right thing to say. Sometimes a small kindness is more effective than words.

• 5

  Weigh your words. People who are unsure what to say often employ clichés. This can sound uncaring to a person enduring profound grief. Before addressing a grieving person, think carefully about how the words would sound to you in the reverse situation. Avoid 'funeral chat.' Speak simply and from the heart or not at all.

• 6

  Give the person time to grieve. One person may be ready to resume normal activities in a short time frame, while another can take months or years to get back into social activities. Grief has no schedule; it takes however long it takes. Allow the person whatever time he needs.