How to Tell a Child About the Death of a Pet

Death is a concept children have difficulty understanding. Children attending a relative's funeral can think the person asleep or able to return at a later time. For a child, a pet's death is often the first experience with grief. Telling your child about a pet's death is an event that you want to handle thoughtfully, with empathy and respect.

Instructions

• 1

  Clean up upsetting details. Children normally ask to see the deceased pet and want to know where or how the pet died. If applicable, remove distressing details from the scene, such as blood or bits of fur. Cover the pet or place in a box with a lid. It is not necessary to remove the pet's belongings at this time.

• 2

  Sit down with your child in a place that he feels safe, such as the end of the bed. Ensure that you won't be interrupted. Speak in a soft voice while looking into the child's eyes. Explain the pet's death in a gentle but straightforward manner. Use the words dead and death rather than euphemisms like "gone" or "passed on."

• 3

  Explain that death of the pet's body is forever. When dealing with the death of a pet, it's important the child understands the animal will never move, see, hear or play again.

• 4

  Share your faith. If you believe in an afterlife for animals, share this comfort with your child. Just be certain to reiterate that the pet's body has finished living.

• 5

  Answer any questions your child asks. Let her know that you are sad about the pet's death, and will miss the animal. It's okay to cry with your child if you were also attached to the pet.

• 6

  Allow the child to see the pet if they ask, as long as the body is not in a highly upsetting state. If the body is viewable, allow the child to touch it if they wish. When the animal doesn't respond to touch, it helps finalize the death in a child's eyes. If your child doesn't want to view the body, don't force the issue.

• 7

  Say goodbye in whatever manner your child prefers. Hold a funeral if requested, complete with family mourners and a service. Remember, this is important to your child, so treat the occasion with respect. Many a goldfish has received a solemn send off.