Counseling Strategies for Loss & Grief

While grief is usually associated with death, it also occurs after a person experiences a significant loss in life. This could be the loss of health, an ideal or a relationship. Such loss affects a person's behavioral, emotional, cognitive, physical and spiritual reactions, according to the Counselor Education Newsletter. Psychologists, counselors, social workers and members of the clergy can empower and support individuals as they move through their individual grief process.

Companioning

• Companioning is a counseling strategy that honors the individual and the grief process. A counselor using this strategy listens with his heart and is present with the individual who is suffering pain. He recognizes that he can't take away the pain but instead seeks to respect the experience and learn from it. The counselor assists the individual in recognizing the process, building on her strengths and minimizing anxieties.

Reflecting

• Reflecting the grieving person's feelings shows attentiveness and caring. It also helps the grieving person recognize, name and organize his own emotions. A counselor must both listen and observe the individual, then reflect the observed emotion. For example, a counselor might say, "I sense some feelings of helplessness." or "It seems like you are getting discouraged." After making the statement, the counselor asks the individual to consider if this is correct by saying, "Is that right?" Next, the counselor prompts further discussion by asking, "Do you want to talk more about that?" or "What times are most difficult?"

Validation

• Validation honors the individual experience while giving reassurance that, in most cases, what the person is experiencing is a normal human reaction to loss. Such validation normalizes the grieving process. It also gives hope and comfort to the suffering individual as she realizes that she is not the only one who has felt this way. In order to validate a person's experience the counselor must be educated regarding the stages of the grief process including acceptance of loss, entering into emotions, acquiring new skills and reinvesting energy. The counselor should also be able to recognize when grief is complicated by depression or trauma. Such complicated grief may require more intensive interventions.

Empowering

• A counselor using the strategy of empowerment conveys the belief that the individual is able to transform, heal and grow. This doesn't diminish the loss felt by the person but maintains faith in the strength of the human spirit. Without this confidence the individual may feel flawed and incapable of growth. Using empowerment as a strategy involves helping the person identify his strengths and recognize areas of growth.