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Bereavement Counseling Techniques

Working through the loss of a loved one is an ongoing process rather than a series of quick steps. Grief specialists rely on special tactics to guide mourners through their darkest seasons. They focus on validation and assurance that survivors' feelings are normal, which forms the crux of healing, according to the online Grief Counseling Resource Guide published by New York's Office of Mental Health.

  1. Experiences

    • Experiences live on, even after death. A bereavement counselor encourages a client to revisit memories surrounding the person who died. This technique includes writing about or discussing aloud humorous incidents, qualities that made the loved one so special and events that were important to both the deceased and the survivors. The counselor also encourages a survivor to remember the joys and the struggles in the relationship. Recalling your loved one's simple pleasures--such as favorite foods, sports teams or holiday traditions--promotes healing as well, especially when recorded for other family members. These techniques reinforce the bond with the person who died.

    Rituals

    • Rituals give symbolic connections to lost loved ones, says New York's online Grief Counseling Resource Guide. For example, a woman can prepare her late mother's favorite cranberry dish during holidays to pay homage to her memory. Or, a family commemorates a loved one's birthday or anniversary of death to acknowledge the bond that remains. Other healing rituals include writing a letter of thanks or forgiveness to the person who died. Planting trees and placing flowers on grave sites also serve as important rituals. Another technique is to visit a memorial that gives identity to the deceased person, such as a war or AIDS monument. Sorting through belongings serves as an important rite because it marks a transition in mourning, especially when personal effects have stood untouched for a while.

    Memory Box

    • A memory box is a shoebox or any decorative container that holds a loved one's mementos. Articles might include photographs, drawings, clothing or awards. Families collaborate to paint or adorn the outside of the box. Survivors add their own letters, poems and drawings so that the contents of the memory box tell the story of the loved one's existence. Bereavement memory boxes are especially effective with children who mourn the loss of a sibling or parent, according to counselor Jane Vair Bissler in her online article "Counseling For Loss: Grief And Loss Counseling."

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