Stages of Coping With a Death

Grief is a powerful emotion and a natural response to the loss of something or someone you love. Experts agree that there are several stages of grief, but the exact number of stages, depending on the expert, varies from five to seven. Each person experiences these steps differently depending on personality, life experiences, faith, coping style and even age. There is no one right way or timetable for grieving.

Shock or Disbelief

• Upon receiving the news of the death of a loved one, many people feel numb at first, finding it hard to believe it has happened. It may be an emotional time with feelings of profound sadness, emptiness, despair and loneliness.

Denial

• Denial is another stage similar to that of disbelief. You may tell yourself, "This cannot be happening!"

Anger

• Anger may range from mild irritation to extreme fury and rage. People often direct this anger at the lost loved one, at themselves or outward -- at strangers, doctors or God.

Bargaining

• When coping with the death of a loved one, you may attempt to bargain with a higher power, asking for things to be made right if you do something in return.

Guilt

• If you've lived through an accident that caused someone else to die, you may feel survivor's guilt. You may wonder, "Why didn't I die instead?" You might also feel guilty that you couldn't prevent the death, or that you felt relief if your loved one died after a prolonged illness. It is common to feel guilty about something you may -- or may not -- have said or done before your loved one died.

Depression

• Depression is characterized by a lack of caring, or loss of interest, in what is going on in your life. You may feel deep sadness or hopelessness, as well as extreme fatigue and other physical symptoms. There are different levels of depression. If you are extremely depressed or thinking about suicide, seek professional help immediately.

Acceptance

• In the acceptance stage, a person comes to an understanding that the event happened, there is nothing that can be done to change it and that life must go on. When you've reached this stage, you will still feel sad and miss your loved one, but you will realize that the person who died would want you to lead a happy and fulfilling life.