How to Help a Mother With the Loss of an Infant

Dealing with the loss of an infant can be a devastating blow and one that is hard to overcome. When you are a family member or friend of a mother going through such a terrible experience, sometimes you aren't quite sure how to help. There are no words to assuage the grief and sadness the mother is likely experiencing, so how do you know the best way to proceed in such a situation? It all starts by simply being present and listening. This is the key to helping a mother with the loss of an infant.

Instructions

• 1

  Lend her an ear to talk about her feelings. She may not be open to talking and that's fine. But let her know that you are available if she wants to talk about whatever feelings she is experiencing regarding the loss. Many mothers of infants feel an overwhelming sense of guilt after the loss of an infant; others might feel anger or frustration. No matter what she is experiencing, let her vent and get her feelings out.

• 2

  Offer to help with service arrangements. The loss of a child affects even those who were not related to him, so arranging a service is just that much more difficult for the mother. Offer your assistance in any way possible; from planning to working directly with the funeral home to informing family members and friends about service specifics to shopping for a burial gown for the deceased infant, any burden you can take off of the mother helps her through this process.

• 3

  Prevent her from being overwhelmed with well-wishers. Oftentimes, after the loss of a child, family, friends, co-workers and neighbors feel the need to help in any way they can. However, a regular influx of visitors can make a grieving mother feel even more overwhelmed. Set up visiting hours for anyone who isn't family and stick to it. The grieving mother will need time to rest, catch up on errands and try to find a way to pick up the pieces.

• 4

  Offer to go with her to a support group for grieving parents. A support group is a great way to learn how to live with your grief and how to overcome it, particularly for parents who are struggling with the loss of an infant. However, she may feel reluctant to go alone. Offer to go with her. Encourage her to tell her story and bond with people who are experiencing the same feelings that she is.

• 5

  Provide assistance with other siblings or family members. If she has other children or family members for whom she provides regular care, offer to help her out for a while until she gets on her feet. It can be challenging to work through your grief over the loss of an infant while trying to properly care for other children at the same time, who are also working through their grief about the loss. If you can, take over some of her parental responsibilities until she is at least stable enough to do so herself, if she is OK with it.