What Are the Phases of Bereavement After a Death?

There is no time line for bereavement, nor do any two individuals mourn in the same way. However, there are universal phases that underlie each human's experience with loss, the University of Rochester explains. Whether you're mourning the death of a loved one or wish to support a grief-stricken friend, recognize the phases of bereavement and encourage a positive journey toward healing.

Shock

• The initial shock of loss is often dealt with through denial, numbness and isolation, the PsychCentral website reports. The bereaved may illogically rationalize or avoid facts to make them seem less real for a short period of time. This is a natural human coping mechanism devised to avoid any reality that's too harsh to bare.

Anger

• Loss involves suffering, which is often extremely difficult to cope with. To avert pain, intense emotions are deflected and reshaped into anger, PsychCentral states. Loved ones, inanimate objects, strangers, pets or the deceased loved one can become a target for aggressive emotions. The bereaved may experience feelings of resentment for being abandoned or having their loved one taken away. Although a grieving individual acknowledges that the targets aren't logically to blame, bereavement naturally incites these emotions.

Bargaining

• People often develop a long list of "if onlys" when they feel that they're incapable of controlling overwhelming events. This way of thinking is an attempt to regain a sense of control, even if it means feeling responsible for a loved one's death by rationalizing that the outcome could have been prevented had something been done differently. The bereaved may succumb to "magical thinking" and look to God or spiritual beings to improve the situation, the University of Rochester advises.

Despair

• Yearning for a deceased loved one is natural. There will be a deep desire for the deceased to return, which may be accompanied by crying spells, anxiety, confusion, frustration and even happiness if pleasant memories of the lost loved one come to mind. Mourners may go through an emotional roller coaster. Some experience nightmares, hallucinations, avoiding or clinging to the deceased one's personal items, withdrawal, fatigue and loss of appetite, according to the Hospice website. There may be guilt for isolating one's self from living relatives and friends, which can add to the feeling of depression. Funeral arrangements and practicalities surrounding the loss may result in exaggerated stress that can feel burdensome.

Acceptance

• A period of calm withdrawal marks a move toward acceptance, PsychCentral states. A state of emotional apathy and despair is gradually displaced by positive memories of the deceased. This is the readjustment phase of mourning, where interest in day-to-day activities returns. The grieved can regain a sense of normalcy and assume daily functioning. A grieving individual can make peace and move on by accepting the reality of the situation, thus transitioning into a more positive and productive state of being.