How to Deal With a Person Grieving & Lashing Out

When someone close to you is grieving after the death of a loved one, it can be difficult to know what to do or what to say. To make matters worse, if that person is lashing out at you and at others, you may wonder how much you should put up with. One of the most important things to keep in mind about someone who is lashing out over grief, is that the person is struggling with the loss. There are some things you can do for the person.

Instructions

• 1

  Understand that everyone deals with death in a different way. More importantly, you need to understand that there really is no right or no wrong way to grieve. There are stages of grief, but a person does not need to work through the stages in order. Also, keep in mind that grief does not happen on a timeline. Some people work through the process quickly, while others take years.

• 2

  Be compassionate. You don't need to know what to say or what to do, just be understanding and compassionate. Listen when the person wants to talk and just be with the person when he or she wants someone there. People who are grieving just want to feel acknowledged and supported.

• 3

  Help the person. Sometimes someone who is grieving doesn't want to ask for help. The person may feel guilty for the help and the attention. However, take an action or an activity and just do it. Maybe you want to coordinate meals, or clean up, or take the kids for a play date. Just help and be there for however long it takes.

• 4

  Provide continued support. The outpouring of help and support is overwhelming during the funeral process. However, when everyone leaves, the support fades. Grief lasts for much longer than just the funeral, and people need continued support for months and years after the death of a loved one.

• 5

  Notice the warning signs. It is normal for a person to lash out or feel depressed after the death of a loved one, but if the symptoms don't gradually fade away, or if they increase, the person may need medical attention. Encourage and support him or her during this process and suggest that professional help may be needed. Two months is a good measuring gauge for symptoms to start to fade.