Measurable Goals in Grief Counseling

Processing through any type of loss can devastate a person. Most people respond to a loss with grief and sadness, although this can manifest in different ways. Many people think of loss in terms of the death of a family member or loved one; however, people may suffer grief over the loss of a job, relationship, home or pet. If you cannot move forward, grief counseling can help. During counseling, you can achieve measurable goals as a part of the recovery process.

Communication

• The grieving person in therapy may not talk about the deceased. He may fear emotions may overwhelm him if he begins to open up about his feelings. However, if he does not talk, he cannot move forward with his life and will stay stuck in his feelings. Depending on the person, individual or group therapy may be most effective. Individual therapy offers the person the opportunity to privately express his feelings. Group counseling allows the bereaved to know he is not alone with his emotions. He sees that others deal with anger, guilt, ambivalent feelings or other negative emotions. The counselor may set a goal for emotional expression through journaling his feelings within two to three months and verbalizing those emotions within four to six months.

Address Emotions

• The bereaved person needs to identify and process emotions. She may shut down emotionally, stuff her emotions inside and deny what she is feeling. She needs to recognize her feelings, work through the discomfort and pain and express her emotions appropriately. Talking and journaling on a daily basis can bring healing to her during this time. She must acknowledge that this process won't happen overnight and that it takes time.

Acceptance

• The grief-stricken man may struggle with how he is handling grief or may feel alone and isolated. Another goal of grief counseling helps patients see that everyone expresses different emotions in a variety of ways as they go through the grieving period. The grieving person may need to address unfinished business with his loved one and come to terms with the fact that she is gone. He can do this by writing her a letter, journaling, visiting her grave and attending counseling or support groups. He needs to adjust to life without her and begin to find ways to involve himself in activities once again.

Education

• The bereaved person needs basic education about the five stages of grief, as described by Swiss psychologist Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She identified these stages as denial, anger and rage, bargaining with God or a higher power, depression and acceptance of the loss. Most people go through these stages, though they may not experience all of them or in any particular order. Education also includes a definition of "abnormal grief" and understanding prolonged or complicated grief.