How to Learn to Live Through the Loss of an Infant

Losing an infant is a traumatic and devastating experience for the parents and loved ones. You may feel your grieving is never-ending as you think about life without your child. There will always be a small sadness, especially on your infant's birthday and other special days. However, with time your grief should begin to ease. Before you consider how to come to terms with your grief, you need to develop coping strategies to help you deal with it.

Instructions

• 1

  Try to acknowledge your child's death. Accepting your loss is far from easy; however, until you recognize that your child has died, you will be unable to start the grieving process properly. Shock, confusion and denial are all common reactions for parents who have lost an infant. Acknowledging your pain as soon as possible will prevent you bottling up your feelings and delaying the process, according to the website Ask Dr. Sears.

• 2

  Make time for your close family and friends. Spending time with people who are willing to love and support you through your grief will take some of the pressure off you. Your loved ones may feel awkward mentioning your infant for fear of upsetting you further. Encourage them to talk about him and any memories they have; talking may hurt at first, but it will soon become therapeutic. Having loved ones you can talk to and cry with is an important part of the grieving process.

• 3

  Create a memorial for your infant. Keeping something that reminds you of your child will offer you comfort not just in the beginning, but also in the years ahead. A suitable memorial may be a memory book full of photographs, a favorite stuffed animal or your child's favorite blanket, recommends the Mayo Clinic website. Having something tangible to look at and hold will help you feel closer to your child.

• 4

  Understand your partner is grieving too. There is no right or wrong way to grieve because grief affects individuals differently. Being supportive to someone else may feel impossible when you are feeling so sad yourself. However, grief can push a relationship apart if the couple does not understand that what works for one partner may not work for the other. For example, you may be trying to move forward by sticking to some sort of normal routine. He may feel you are moving too fast and that you do not feel the same way he does. Accepting that the two of you may have conflicting emotional needs is the best way to support each other through your joint grief, says the Ask Dr. Sears website.

• 5

  Take one day at a time. You are likely to have good days and bad ones, as your emotions will be up and down for a while. Do not think having a bad day after a run of good ones means you are making no improvements. Don't push yourself or your partner. Set small goals, and congratulate yourself if you achieve them. Because of your loss, there is no getting back to "normal"; instead, you will both need to readjust in order to begin living your life again. Continuing to live your life is all part of coming to terms with your loss and does not mean you will forget your child.

• 6

  Make the effort to look after yourself. Side effects of grief include loss of appetite, interrupted sleep and a lack of motivation to do anything. Eating healthily, getting some physical exercise and trying to get a good amount of sleep each night will aid your physical and mental well-being. Becoming ill because you are not taking care of yourself will just add to your feelings of sadness.

• 7

  Join support groups. These may be in your local area or on the Internet. Meeting and speaking to parents who have also lost an infant will be of comfort to you. Seeing people with similar experiences come to terms with their grief while still remembering their child will give you hope you can do the same. Support groups for infant and child loss are a valuable source of support and information for parents.