How to Help Those in Mourning

Grief is an intense emotion that affects no two people in the same way. Coping skills and experience can both influence the way a person grieves and for how long, however, there is no standard grieving process. Supporting someone who has lost a loved one is no easy task and is especially difficult if you were close to the deceased person yourself. Just as a physical injury will eventually heal, it is possible for a person to get over losing a loved one. Supporting the person and helping him come to terms with his loss should help ease the grieving process.

Instructions

• 1

  Address her loss by offering your sincere condolences. Try not to worry about what you are going to say. Keep it to the point and genuine; saying whatever comes to your mind is better than saying nothing at all. She will understand that it is hard for other people to express how they feel and will appreciate your making an effort.

• 2

  Offer him your complete support, whenever he needs it. This may include anything from letting him call in the middle of the night to talk or assisting him with the funeral arrangements. Make it clear that no matter what it is, you are there and you will not judge or get annoyed with him. Do not wait for him to ask for your support or help, as he may worry that he is bothering you.

• 3

  Listen to her. A person in the throes of grief will experience every emotion, from guilt and anger to sadness and confusion. Her behavior may be different, and it may even appear odd. Unless it is harmful to her in any way, just accept that it helps her deal with her loss. Let her do the talking; there is no need to add your own experience or advice unless asked. Asking questions such as "Why did he die?" is a natural reaction to grief and she is merely thinking aloud, says a 2010 HelpGuide website article. Just listening is enough. You do not need to try to answer these questions.

• 4

  Offer to help with day-to-day chores. Unfortunately, grief does not stop some of the necessary chores in life, which is why offering to help will take some of the pressure off. Call the grieving person when you are doing your grocery shopping and ask what he needs. When you are cooking at home, do an extra portion so he does not have to cook for himself. This way, he is getting much-needed support without feeling like a burden.

• 5

  Understand that he may be grieving for a long time. There is no set time that a person should grieve, and everyone comes to terms with losing a loved one differently. While he may have a wealth of support before the funeral, this support may reduce once people's lives return to normal. At least for the first year, possibly even two, keep in regular contact to see how he is coping, recommends a PBS website article. While he may not always need the same degree of support, knowing he has someone he can rely on will help him through low points.