How to Handle Grief When Your Mother Dies

No matter your age, enduring the death of your mother brings all sorts of emotions, with grief usually at the forefront. Mothers usually protect and nurture their offspring, and now, when the child most needs that security, the mother is no longer there. But you can cope with the grief of this loss, overwhelming as it may initially seem, by following several steps.

Instructions

• 1

  Admit your feelings, no matter how difficult they may be to face. You may have regret over things you did or didn't say or do as they relate to your mom. You may feel conflicted over your mom's behaviors, if your family was especially dysfunctional. Process through these emotions. Keep a special journal just to deal with your feelings about your mother and her death for at least one to two years. Even if you have never journaled before, this is a perfect time to start! Use the journal to work through your feelings. Talk to your spouse or a trusted friend, as well. Sometimes your friend will just need to listen as you cry and remember the good and bad about your mother.

• 2

  Embrace your spirituality or faith. Spirituality provides hope for the future, even as you process through questioning God. Reflect your questioning and struggles in your journaling.

• 3

  Realize that the grief process takes from one to two years. A Swiss doctor, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, did extensive work on the stages of grief, and found that five stages typify this transition. These include denial, anger, bargaining, hopelessness and acceptance. While you may not experience each one of these stages, recognize that the process takes time. You may also transition through the stages in a different order. Take the time you need to grieve, including taking time off work when you can, even as long as six months to a year after your mom's passing.

• 4

  Join a grief support group when you are ready to do so. The support of others in similar situations allows you to see outside yourself and encourage others. As you help them on their journey, you can recognize those issues that especially bother you.

• 5

  Seek professional counseling if your grieving period seems to last excessively long, leads into debilitating depression or paralyzes your daily functioning.