How to Explain Grief to Children

Grief is the natural reaction to loss. It a personal experience and can be especially difficult for children. They not only experience the four major emotions associated with grief--fear, anger, guilt, sadness--but children may also experience shock, physical symptoms such as a headache or stomach ache, and regress to previously outgrown behaviors such as thumb-sucking or bed-wetting. Talking to children about grief can help alleviate these feelings and guide them through the grieving process. If you are uncertain about whether your child's reaction is normal, consult your health care professional.

Instructions

• 1

  Talk about your feelings to open the discussion about grief. Asking children how they feel may not generate an in-depth response. Being open about your grieving process can encourage children to talk about their feelings and reassure them they are not alone.

• 2

  Provide a simple explanation. Explain death in basic and concrete terms. If the person was sick, explain that their body was not working properly and could not be fixed. You can also explain that dying or death means that the body stopped working. Inform the child that the person will not return.

• 3

  Explain what happens next. Children may be concerned about the body or whereabouts of the person who passed away. If there is a body to view, explain that the person is not hurting, hungry or cold. Share your family's belief about the afterlife with your child.

• 4

  Discuss any rituals that may take place. If there is going to be a funeral, let the child decide what he wants to do. Invite him to write or read a poem. Reassure children that it is okay to not participate.

• 5

  Explain the feelings associated with grief. Children express grief in different ways compared to adults. They may have fluctuating emotions that can persist for a long time. Tell the child that his feelings are normal and that it is okay to express them openly.

• 6

  Encourage questions. Although you may not have all the answers to a child's questions, create an atmosphere of comfort and openness that lets him know he can talk to you.